Animals with Opinions

osama bin laden

2011-05-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

first go read this http://cryptic-mysteries.blogspot.com/2011/05/osama-bin-laden-dead-but-conspiracy.html

well whether he is alive, dead recently, or an old rotting corpse i must say this reeks of conspiracy of some kind. i kinda think the timing, being during obamas presidency, is the main part of the conspiracy. how convenient that the biggest doof be in presidency when this ass is killed. he doesn't deserve credit for this. even if it is true. the men that coordinate, strategize and go in and do the deed are the ones that deserve recognition. i can see him stroking his ego now. makes me ill. i'd puke if i could.

now if this is true then cool. but obama has no place in something he never started and wanted nothing to with. at re-election time he'll remind us all how fabulous he thinks he is. gag. so thats really all i have to say about this topic.

to sum it up, its a bunch of RUBBISH in some form or the other. ,

and yes i basically repeated myself in the second part using different words, redundant.

gerald the bad blogging goat

William S. Burroughs, Influential?

2011-02-23T11:00:00.000-08:00

i watched a special on pbs(liberal t.v.) lastnight about this guy. i am near appalled that people found this gun toting drunk druggie influential. sure perhaps if you want to use him in gun safety class on what not to do with your gun. he was the naked lunch guy. my human said she watched it but her mind blanks on it. i mean seriously this guy would have been into little boys had the law allowed and who knows what he got away with in other countries. its stuff like this that shows just how backwards this country is. he accidently shot his wife in the forehead cause she had some splendid idea for him to shoot a glass off her head. then there is his shotgun art. shooting a spray paint can and calling the splatter on wood art is rubbish! takes alot of talent to fire a gun at spray paint. his followers are the expected american hating usuals. the only thing this guy said i agreed with was how he didn't get why when there was a shooting spree they want to disarm the ones who didn't do it. he also said something about how he didn't like the idea of only the military and government having guns. im not quoting him on any of this just trying to get the point across on his gun beliefs cause i dont remember exactly what he said. as far as his friends go he had plenty cause the party was always at his house. he got the best drugs, probably bought all the booze and ammo was on him. party on dude! nothing like a mix of drugs, booze and guns. sounds more like some low life gang. influential? hardly. unless you like your heroine mixed with rum and coke and a side of bullet in your skull. rubbish!

let the hate begin

gerald the influential goat

Christmas Card For Me

2010-12-15T14:13:00.000-08:00

got me first christmas card today! my good pals at http://twodevoncats.blogspot.com sent it to me. i dont think ill be receiving any others though cause im a baaa'd goat. i'm so happy they thought of me!

gerald the christmas card getting goat

A Shearing We Will Go

2010-10-28T02:07:00.000-07:00

this happened over the summer when my human was house sitting where her goats live temporarily. the owner of the place has this here sheep. its a jacob sheep named jacob. real origional i know. so the sheep is as wild as a pig caught in hot wire but she did manage to catch it. problem is she didn't know how to tie it up in a way to keep its head up. so they wrapped its horns to the milk stand. i was laughing so hard. poor guy. he isn't being hurt at all but it looks awful.

i would like to note that the human has never sheared anything except her legs. so anyway she proceeded to cut off mr. jacobs wool with a pair of scissors, fiskars to be exact. strange practices these humans have and i am grateful i don't have wool. he did pretty good but the human cut his testicle sac and felt pretty awful about it.

above is the finished product.. looks like a whole new sheep! luckily claire at whispering acres helped the human with this project.

gerald the anti shearing goat

The Humans Counterfeit CHI Flatiron Dilema

2010-10-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

my human has a situation going on. it involves a CHI flat iron she bought at helmarts (wal mart) smartstyle. it did what it was supposed to do but she decided she didn't like her hair that straight and got a round brush. she then decided to sell the pricey flat iron on ebay. imagine her shock when farouk the chi makers had her auction pulled for counterfiet!!! she fought with them awhile about how it isn't a fake. then she fought with smartstyle and regis who will not refund her money cause its been longer than thirty days(she got it in july of this year). the human thinks in the case of being sold counterfeit trash the return policy shouldn't matter. farouk threatened legal action if she tries to sell the iron but does not care that smartstyle/regis is selling counterfeit irons. does that make any sense? the human also talked to the better business bureau who called it a return policy dispute. huh? so basically its okay for businesses to sell counterfeit products but not for private citizens. the human is very cranky cause she is out $100.

gerald the authentic majestic goat

Snowys Kitten

2010-09-30T01:27:00.000-07:00

awhile back snowy had some kids. the human kept the one that looked like her. sounds a little prejudice to me. the others were striped and black. i think the human has something against stripes. anyway this kitten is named zebra cake. i know, i know. origionally one of the human kids named it angel cake then changed it to something else like melody. that didn't work out either. so one night the humans owner called it zebra cake and that just stuck. poor thing. she's nice enough at least, despite how cranky she looks in the picture. i think she had just woke up.

here she is sleeping with her mum. while i may sound like a softy, i happen to think this picture is cute. yes i said cute. shhh!! tell no one i had a weak moment!!

gerald the sometimes sentimental goat

Fiber, A Wooly Epidemic

2010-09-10T12:27:00.003-07:00

first the human wanted to spin wool. then for some reason she wanted to try needle felting. now there is fiber showing up here almost daily it seems. first off she ordered colored fiber. then she learned how to take care of raw fiber. discovering this saves her money she buys it raw. this is where things went wrong. she likes, no she loves, this stuff in its natural state. she says you can't reproduce this beauty. so now there is all this raw wool around the place. i can't take two steps without running into a box or baggie of this stuff. now im all for hobbies but collecting animal hair is a bit weird. next it will be human hair, then human parts. i really don't know what to do about her. she needle felted a SHEEP on a t-shirt!!! she said she didn't do a goat cause it was a test thing and sheep are quick. like i believe that. she hasn't felted any goats but there are little sheep bodies in her "fiber tub", oh and a cat. a tuxedo cat in fact. she has spent over a month working on it. craziness. so i think im going to create FLA, Fiber Lovers Annonymous. surely there are others out there living with these oddities.

gerald the fiber free goat

oh i almost forgot, this is all claires fault. she lives at whispering acres but i don't think there is much whispering going on or my human would not have all this fluff everywhere!!

Arse Words

2010-08-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

when out with my human i sometimes still see this dreadful style and it got me thinking about the problem the pants can cause. see, as a male when i see a girl wearing these hideous things i get nasty looks from people around me and the girl cause well, im looking at her arse. now you can't tell me that when she picked them out she didn't realize that she has a word on her arse. what do we do with words? we read them, even if they are on your arse, can't help it, my brain wants to read. reading makes me a pervert apparently. sure okay. im more concerned about the person that needs their arse read by all. i especially worry when the pants say" juicy". if you have a juicy arse you might wanna seek out your medicine chest. gross. so see i don't find you appealing when i read your arse. i think i find it scary especially on five year olds. mom, dad, do you really want everyone in town looking at your little girls arse???? just wondering. i'm not even gonna talk about the 300lb and over people wearing their "juicy" pants. so thats my thoughts today. arse words.

gerald the arse reading goat

(but its not because i like you)

Never Fails

2010-07-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

every time i say i am back something happens. the cord for the laptop gets broken, the human goes crazy, or in this case the cord got broken again. so i am on an ancient machine that is running windows 2000. the monitor is the old type, a square tatung. i could complain but i won't because at least i can do this. i can't watch movies on netflix but i can check mail and blog.

gerald the majestic 2000 goat

Silly Goats

2010-06-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

my human went out to her friends last weekend to visit her goats and milk some manchas. when she arrived all the kids had gotten out and were running everywhere. this guy had apparently been looking for a snack. its alot funnier when they get the pumpkin buckets on their head cause then it is like the headless goatman.

gerald the majestic goat

Good To Be Back

2010-06-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

yes folks, it's true, i have finally returned. see the human went completely loco cause the doc gave her some pill that is supposed to help pain. alls it did was help her cry and yell alot. she was like that for two months until she finally cracked. you should have been there. it was so funny. ah but anyway this is about me, not the mental patient. you can see from the picture above that my stunt double finally arrived. boy he sure is handsome and of the best quality. i've been having him do all sorts of exciting things to perk this blog up and i can't wait to show you all. i did have to get rid of the other stunt double. he had an accident in the kitchen. guess he fell and snapped his neck. oops. well those things happen. i will now go but don't worry im here for awhile again. i do need to catch up on all of my great friends that i have missed so very much. good to see you.

gerald the "back in black" goat

Where Am I??

2010-05-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

i'm sure you all have been wondering where my majestic self has been. i've taken on nursing apparently. the humans have been non stop sick for two months. not just one or two of them either. all seven of them. so i have to take care of them. im not even getting paid!! my human has helped a little when she can but she's pretty useless to be quite honest. she did make it to the goat farm a couple times to see her kids of the season. ill post some pictures soon cause they are beautiful. lots of blue eyes this year. i guess thats a big deal. i don't really think so though. i think they look a little creeeeepy. horror show goats. okay well i have to go make tea for the humans throat. i hope you all are well and ill be back soon, i hope.

gerald the nurse goat

Im Back!

2010-04-21T11:41:00.000-07:00

i was kidnapped by franks cousin. apparently he had a problem with frank and his herd living with goats. perseus and snowy found me locked in a feed closet of an abandoned barn. franks cousin is a jerk. franks cousin is dead. perseus killed him and ate him. so im recovering at home and the human is being very nice to me again. i did eat her laptop cord and she is a little urked since it will be the fourth one in under a year she has had to replace. good to be home and i will catch up with all of you as time allows.

gerald the rescued goat

Kidnapped!

2010-03-24T09:16:00.001-07:00

we think geralds been kidnapped. we thought, at first, that he had needed a break from all the sheep here but he would have called. perseus heard from some of the cats outside that there is talk of a tied up goat in a basement somewhere. we have put out search teams and hope to turn up something soon. i just hope it isn't too late.

snowy the beautiful

Gerald is Missing

2010-03-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

snowy here. we can't find gerald. pereus has been outside talking to the other dogs. there are lots of crazy stories but none have produced gerald. we won't give up though. i have managed to keep that bossy frank busy with errands for the human. her daughter was just diagnosed with tourettes(she isn't one-hundred percent convinced) so things have been pretty nuts around here. it was easy to fool frank into believing the human needed him. so for the time being i have taken back control and we will find gerald.

snowy the beautiful

Stuffing Does Wonders

2010-03-10T21:31:00.000-08:00

BEFORE

AFTER

isn't she just lovely. see what great things you can find at a thift store. i seriously think this cost the human about twenty-five cents, maybe not even that much. she wanted to make some more but can't find any patterns online. i think she is just using the wrong words. she said something about having to take it apart so she can make a pattern. i don't think that is a good idea. on the downside she spent three bucks on the stuffing and it took the whole bag! she said it's still a great deal. plus it is a sheep and can you put a price on a sheep? the human says you can. craziness, i say.

frank the "i stole the blog from gerald" sheep

More Sheep! Yeah!

2010-03-07T05:39:00.000-08:00

frank here. yes, that's right, it's me, frank. gerald is neglecting his blog so i figure i can run it better. i took the human shopping yesterday to a thrift store because i had a feeling we would find something very special. boy, i couldn't have been more right. she found three sheep.

the best find was the #44 serta sheep. the human has apparently been wanting one for some time. thanks to me, she has it! i'd like to see gerald top that! the smaller lamb baa's.

now this here is neat because she just needs to add stuffing and sew it closed

so i had a splendid day shopping for sheep with the human.

frank the fun sheep

Updates, Boring Updates

2010-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

well the human has been feeling bad so i have been helping her, aka being her slave. perseus and snowy are working on some sort of peace treaty with those naughty sheep. the human is thinking of starting her own blog to document her path with the docs and her experiences with the medicines she's been trying. i told her not to cause it would take up my computer time but she thinks it would be helpful to people going through what she is. i assured her there are others doing it and she shouldn't bother. yeah i know, i'm a big mean goat, but she hogs the computer as it is. i added a picture of simon since he is not dead yet. i guess that is everything. things have been pretty uneventful around here which can only mean something is on the horizon. guess i better watch my back!

gerald the bored goat

A Murder

2010-02-25T17:45:00.000-08:00

yep that is what it says. mark is dead. poor thing. lucy-fur the evil dog got in the bedroom and assaulted him. no dogs in the bedroom is the rule but someone left the door open and lucy got him!! human is very sad. her owner brought her home a new bunny to cheer her up. funny thing is it was actually the one she wanted first. her owner got lucky and its a boy. not so lucky is that at the store the rabbit told her owner that his name is simon!!! simon is white with silver on the ends of his hair, his ears are silver as is his nose. she's gonna try to take a pic of him but doesn't think the camera will capture his beauty. the human thinks her owner had fun picking out a rabbit cause apparently some of the other rabbits told him their name. so i wonder if he was standing there talking to them. my human has a friend whose husband doesn't really like goats but she caught him in the goat pen holding two kids on his lap!! i bet my humans owner was picking them up and cuddling them. i should ask the store for the security footage to see what exactly went on.

gerald the majestic goat

Easter Ain't All Sheepy

2010-02-23T22:31:00.000-08:00

for the time being the human has focused her attention on a different animal. i hate to say this but her mystery illness was actually a blessing, for me anyway. the humans knees and hips have been hurting her bad for the last week. apparently she is having trouble with the stairs so she decided to get a cane to help her out. she looked at hel-mart but didn't care for the metal clanky things. then she remembered seeing wooden canes at the farm store.

this is where things get real good(this is how i heard her tell her owner). so she drove over there with about ten minutes to spare before they close. as she was approaching the doors she sees a little sign that reads, "we have bunnies". the automatic doors slide open and the a great magnetic force pulls her straight in, down the aisle towards the bunny troughs. the whole time she was being pulled she was thinking, "i am so dead". why would bunnies in troughs make her dead? lets keep reading to find out. once at the troughs the human squeals in excitement at all the bunny colors and cuteness. her heart begins to race and she starts to sex them in search of a buck. i know that sounds really creepy but i assure you it isn't. so anyway, at no point did she ever stop and think "i want a rabbit". she just found a buck and tossed it in a box like a brainwashed robot. now that is creepy. she then grabbed a cane, paid, and left. it wasn't until she got in the van and started it that she said "oh dear me, what have i done?". actually she used some more colorful words but i like to make her sound sweet sometimes.

so now she has a box with a bunny in it and a cane. one of these things just doesn't belong. she starts to panic as she is driving back to hel-mart to finish her shopping. her thoughts went like this, "what am i going to do with this bunny?", "'owner' is gonna kill me", "i don't have a cage for him", "i am so dead", "calm down, you can explain this to him", her thoughts went on until she finally created a story for the owner so he wouldn't be too mad. she called the owner on her phone from hel-mart and asked about food, then slowly and quietly, told him the story of how she came to have a rabbit in her van. he wasn't happy but he wasn't gonna kill her. with that out of the way she got a small water bottle for him and decided he could live in the box till she constructed something better. apparently she told the owner that he would be a fine buck(yeah in like 4-6 mos.) for the three does they have and that he should be lop so they can carry that gene on in the babies. oh that poor fool. do to him trying to be as uninvolved in the animals as possible, she gets stuff by him all the time. bottom line is, she wanted the bunny cause they are cute. even as adults the human thinks they are cute. she only got a buck because she knew that was the only way to get off easy. i can just hear her, "well honey, he can breed with them and that will start off a new herd for us". i shouldn't be too hard on her i guess. the rabbits, perseus, and snowy are the only animals she has with her till the court mess is over and they get a new home. the owner said baby boy bunny said his name is mark. the owner says the animals tell him their names. weird man. so this is mark. yep, mark the bunny.

gerald the "i'm so glad it ain't a sheep" goat

Sheep, Sheep,Sheep, Sheep, Sheep!!

2010-02-22T09:43:00.000-08:00

i think the sheep have been doing brain experiments on my human. all i ever hear her talk about is sheep lately. oh and don't forget, "the cute wittle lambie poos". miss claire hasn't helped things. sorry dear, but that place where the lady made little lamb coats for those lambs, well my human didn't need to see that. all day yesterday was sheep and lamb talk. she even made her owner look at the lambs in their coats. oh and don't forget the black lamb. she just loved that lamb. WHAT ABOUT KIDS AND GOATS? i've never heard about sheep having personality or getting out of every latched goat ever invented. and with easter coming i heard her tell the owner that she wants a white stuffed lamb and a black one. she already has a big stuffed lamb from tractor supply that he got her for christmas. she doesn't need any more. what she needs is a big life sized stuffed me!! wait, that might mean i died. scratch that. why aren't there easter goats. people eat us at easter too!! but no the shelves will be lined with dumb stuffed sheep that my human will beg for and her owner will get her because he gives her anything she wants if he can. maybe i need to have a man to man talk with him. this sheep business must stop!!

gerald the tired of sheep goat

Goat Lies

2010-02-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

with the herd of sheep came a show called shaun the sheep. he's from wallace and grommit, a close shave. i like wallace and grommit and i sort of like shaun the sheep. the human loves it of course. the other day i walked in the room and there was a goat on one of the old episodes. i thought , oh good, finally. HOW WRONG I WAS!! the goat ate everything. it ate a tire, a brick, yes i said a BRICK and it drank out of a toilet!!!! what the hell?! the human was laughing, alot, too much in fact. all the sheep were laughing too. i explained to them that all of that was rubbish! oh i forgot, he ate a bike horn too. do people really believe that goats can eat bricks, metal and tires? wankers! all of them. if that wasn't enough the boy was watching a malcom in the middle rerun. they were at the zoo and reese ticked off a nubian. the nubian followed him all over the zoo then attacked him. what?! that is such crap! everyone knows nubians are too dumb to do any of that! so for the last time......GOATS DO NOT AND WILL NOT EAT ANYTHING!!

gerald the rather finicky goat

Tea Time

2010-02-19T14:49:00.001-08:00

i decided to do something nice for the human. she has felt really awful this week, more so than usual anyway. so i made her some mint tea(her favorite) and gave her some cookies. she wasn't all that interested in the cookies cause she doesn't eat much but really liked the tea. see, i can be a very caring goat. plus the sheep weren't in the kitchen so i was able to get in there.

gerald the very caring goat

Where Was That Dog?

2010-02-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

i must have been very tired last night. i was dreaming of having a sheep cook off. i was winning with all my delicious sheep entrees and then a giant sheep showed up with a goat to cook. i woke up startled and found myself on a plate. was i still dreaming?

i just want to know one thing, where was that dog?

gerald the edible goat

All Is Quiet Soooooo.........

2010-02-17T07:14:00.000-08:00

we will look at a goat. this is alice the mini-mancha. she was the second baby ever born for the humans. her mama has blue eyes but she did not get them. she is one of the favorites i hear cause she was both dam raised and bottle raised so she is super nice. big deal, she doesn't have real ears like me. i threw a fit when the earless wonders showed up. i was so horrified i wouldn't even go near them. i still keep my distance and try not to make eye contact for fear of saying something i'd get in trouble for. so anyway this is alice, she is a year old this month, and the human says she is pretty. huh? oh well.

this picture is old, this is not her at a year old.

gerald the goat with ears

Sheep Love

2010-02-16T18:20:00.001-08:00

ugh i think i am gonna be sick. there was a lot of this going on around here with the sheep. i don't think would i have cared so much except that they kept using "ewe" instead of "you". luckily the humans don't really do too much on v-day. one year she got two goats but i think that's the only time she got anything. lucky for me rut is over so i don't owe anybody anything. yep, that's me the bachelor. boy do i save money. can you just imagine if i had to get something for every doe. i would be in the poor house. heck there wouldn't even be a house!

gerald the single goat

2010-02-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

herb (thats my stunt doubles name incase i hadn't told you) tried to make a goat snow angel but it didn't go well. see, herb there is still wearing that scarf. herb is a dwork.

gerald the anti scarf wearing goat

Darn Humans

2010-02-11T18:01:00.001-08:00

sorry for being away, i will now continue with the sheep horror of pies and such. i guess they were just making a pecan pie. why? why would nine sheep move in here to make a pecan pie? i did not eat the pie. the human said it was very good. i guess it wasn't poisoned or the poison they used doesn't hurt humans. im not sure whats going on but i hope to find something out soon.

my human decided to get a migraine (maybe it was the pie), then a spinal injection for pain (which has only given her a headache and back pain so far) and then she went to an infectious disease doctor for no reason so that is why i haven't been on. unfortunately she hasn't given me access passwords but i am in the process of hacking so next time she decides to be ill and such i can continue my work. i will catch up with all of you soon.

gerald the hacking goat

Hmm, Could it Be Pie?

2010-02-04T05:53:00.000-08:00

i think it may be some sort of poison pie. i saw this one rolling out the dough into a circle shape. i believe he is probably coated in arsenic. i must say it was a little funny watching him roll. but i still believe they are evil. perseus is going over some plans and snowy is fluffing her fur for what im hoping will be a battle to end the sheep problem.

gerald the plotting goat

The Cooking Continued

2010-02-03T18:38:00.001-08:00

well the little punks continued there little project despite my protests. im still conjuring up a plan to get rid of the vermin.

i think they are making poison biscuits.

gerald the confused goat

OH NO!!! Don't Say Mint Sauce to Sheep!!!

2010-01-31T23:13:00.000-08:00

ahhhh!! so, i tried getting the sheep to go away by saying mint sauce, and they attacked!!!

see, i knew these sheep were up to no good. i am quickly losing control of this situation. once my head stops hurting i am going to do something. i really am this time. i've been flapping my gums and doing nothing like a politician. no more!!

gerald the motivated head hurts goat

Oh Come On! Really?

2010-01-31T13:54:00.000-08:00

i don't know what these sheep are up to but it looks like cooking. i sealed up the window so no more can come in but that doesn't change the fact that there are sheep in the kitchen doing something.

this really can't be good.

gerald the confused goat

2010-01-30T09:08:00.000-08:00

We got this award at Eric and Flynns. They were supposed to pick 10 bloggers who brighten their day but couldn't just pick ten so said if we were a regular we could add it to our page. So thank you guys!:

1. Copy and paste award to your page.
2. List 10 things that make you happy and try to do one today.
3. Tag 10 bloggers who brighten your day.

1. other beautiful goats like myself
2. really good hay
3. cookies, i love cookies (gingerbread are my favorites)
4. carrots
5. jumping on stuff
6. meeting new girl goats
7. blogging
8. my friends on here
9.my human when she is nice and not moving in sheep
10. finding a really great tree to scratch myself on

i don't know ten bloggers and don't know how to tag. in fact i can't do much of anything cool with my blog cause i never figured out how or don't understand . oh well, i am just a goat, a majestic goat, not a computer tech goat.

Night Guard

2010-01-29T10:35:00.000-08:00

as a livestock guardian dog i am the best in the business. i don't have goats to watch as they are staying at a friends but i have people to watch. gerald came to me about the sheep problem wondering how i didn't know they were breaking in. i had no answer for him but said i would keep an eye out. i set up motion sensor cameras. it's a good thing i did cause lastnight was the biggest break in of sheep ever. here is what i caught lastnight.

this sheep apparently got stuck but they got him out. i've never seen anything like this before.

so i will be reporting this to gerald and let him handle the rest. they were very quiet. i hear everything but them. i hope i don't lose my job over this breech of security. i'm not even a year old so maybe they will go easy on me.

perseus the mighty

Beautiful Snowy

2010-01-28T23:21:00.000-08:00

i thought you could use a break from sheep and that lunatic goat so im going to tell you about how fabulous i am. first lets look at me.

first notice that the human has not taken care of the "good camera problem". second notice all my lovely points. third would be my beautiful blue eyes but the good camera is not working. gerald is jealous of how lovely i am and so is perseus. im the only animal here with blue eyes. that alone makes me...um... shall we say... majestic! see he isn't the only majestic animal. plus he isn't majestic. he is a goof. so let me show you how cute i look when i roll around on the floor.

im trying to kill the evil brown dog lucy. she won't leave me alone. everytime i come in she jumps on me and wants to play. that gets my fur wet and ugly so i bite her and jump on her. she is dumb also as she won't stop trying to play. oh well im not afraid of dogs. i chased the neighbors dog the other day. it ran up on the porch it was so scared! so back to my beauty. i am very soft and the human loves to pet me. even the humans owner loves me and he isn't that into animals. my human feeds me very well. i do miss the goat milk she used to give me though. i am good at getting rid of mice. i've gotten three here and now the humans love me even more. yes i am fabulous. i am pleased to finally get to address all of you. if you love me send me temptations and catnip.

snowy the most majestic animal

just a note: a four year old named me when i was born. i was all white so i figure she didn't know i would not look like snow later on.

HOW Are They Getting In?!

2010-01-28T09:22:00.000-08:00

this is madness! how are they getting in? looks like they watched wallace and grommit(which i love) "a close shave" or they are from the circus. i do not understand why they keep coming. my human says they are very entertaining. sure they aren't. i tried to convince them that only frank can be here but they just don't listen. they don't really say anything either. silent means dangerous, or really dumb. i'll be sleeping with one eye open, thats for sure. the newest evil member is named joe. where do they get these names? i think i will rename them. flopsy, mopsy and dopey might work. i don't know. i think you aren't supposed to name them cause then you get attached. well i wouldn't but my human would. i can just see her cuddling one of them. ugh im gonna be sick.

gerald the sheep investigating goat

post script: did you notice that herb(thats what she named my stunt double) has a scarf. she made it for him. i don't have a scarf.

Just When You Think It Can't Get Worse....

2010-01-27T11:08:00.000-08:00

oh, heck no!! franky lanky has a friend. the friend showed up this morning. his name is carl. seriously? carl? i told the human about carl thinking he could live here with frank and she said, "the more the merrier". carl brought frank his hat. i didn't know sheep wear hats. i guess they do. i have got to get control of this situation. this can not go on. we can't have sheep running amuck (did i spell that right?). i guess ill need one of those shepherd things with the hook so i can grab them by the neck without touching them. if they are staying here they are gonna need a fence to keep them in one place. control is the key here i believe. they need to learn who is boss and that is me, the great majestic goat. OBEY ME!!

gerald the head goat

OH NO!!!

2010-01-26T14:50:00.001-08:00

SHE GOT ME A FRIEND!!!!!!! i believe eric and flynn may be right. all the accidents my human has had have indeed affected her brain! so she comes home from the store the other night all sorts of excited. cool, she brought me something neat home. oh yes she did, but it is not neat! it is not cool!! it is named frank!!! it is a, a, a, i can't even say it. so, i'll just show you.

the horror! the shame!! HOW DARE SHE!!! look at him, he is hideous. he is a sheep. A SHEEP!!! she says im to be nice to him. oh sure, ill be really nice to FRANK!! what kind of name is that for a sheep? do you even name sheep? yes probably since they are too dumb to name themselves. i must get rid of him! oh, did i mention frank stinks? he smells like, oh i don't know, plastic!! i think i might pack up and move to iowa!! below i am telling him where to go. i won't repeat all i said but he did not get the point cause he is still here.

so my life is ruined but only for awhile. this frank fellow is going to leave. i don't know how or when, but he is not staying here!!

gerald the anti-sheep goat

What Is This???

2010-01-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

my human is so cheap. rather than ordering me a new stunt double that actually looks like me she is using this dworky looking dog toy goat. IT EVEN SQUEAKS!!! im going to have to take this into my own hands and order the goat myself. this will not be good for my reputation. not at all.

gerald the not dworky goat

Snowys Photo Has Arrived

2010-01-17T22:45:00.000-08:00

yes the lazy human finally did it. snowy does not like having her photo taken so it took the human about ten minutes to get anything even close to presentable. sadly this picture does not capture her blue eyes or her beautiful points. oh well im going to tell her that our job as beautiful animals is to be seen and admired. i mean when you window shop you don't want to see just the sleeve of the shirt, you want the whole shirt. we want the whole cat! so anyway, she will be speaking on here sometime soon so she can tell everyone about her. i put in a good word for those lovely cats, eric and flynn, so she is looking forward to meeting them.

gerald the motivational goat

Tattoos and My Growing Popularity

2010-01-17T21:51:00.000-08:00

as fabulous as the tattoo is, and as fabulous as a gesture it was. i have no plans of putting her anywhere on my gorgeous hide. she of course understands that i must remain flawless. i have heard that a couple of people are wimps and would not get a tattoo. i personally think that all humans should permanently inscribe a portrait of me or some other beautiful animal on their flesh. the human said it does hurt but after awhile you don't care. so see whats holding you back? a couple of fabulous felines on your arms or any animal you love is a great thing to put on your flesh. you humans don't think twice about branding us,tagging us, or tattooing us so it is only right that you experience it too. let us mark you for the world to know who you belong to.

next piece of business is my growing popularity. okay i know im not real popular right now but claire from whispering acres(her link is on the page) mentioned me a few times in a post. so i figure with all the readers she has they will be curious as to who this great majestic goat is she speaks of. then they will come running here and be mesmerized by my majestic charm.

gerald the majestically charming goat

What is This?

2010-01-16T21:36:00.000-08:00

could it be she still does love me best? i saw this on her. she hadn't told me, she said it was a surprise. what a splendid suprise indeed. the photo quality isn't great cause the nice camera has a problem but you get the idea. she said the tattoo man had never been asked for a goat before. i find that odd. oh well leave it to my human. oh don't tell her i said this but i think she is having her midlife crisis. she has never had any interest in a tattoo before so its got to be that.

gerald the fabulously majestic goat

Spindle???

2010-01-14T09:43:00.000-08:00

what is a spindle and why did my human get one? it's probably some torture device for use on goats. i saw her looking at alot of strange things online. im worried. then yesterday i heard her say, "i feel an urgency in the air, something is coming, i can feel it". what the heck does that mean? what's coming? i think she has gone off the deep end. maybe she got some bad feed? hmm maybe i should take a closer look at the pills the doctor gave her. one of them might be affecting her ability to think straight. maybe a good whack over the head will fix this. i think i mentioned that the other day. i could head butt her, thats how goats solve things.

gerald the curious goat

Troubles Brewing

2010-01-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

this could be the end. my human brought home a sheep magazine!!!!!!!! why i ask, why? she said she's just looking. thats what she said about the rabbit book and poultry book. she doesn't need sheep. she doesn't need wool. she can't knit anything but squares and rectangles. i think i have fifty scarves!! see once she gets an idea it becomes a purchase. thankfully right now she can't have anything cause we live in a shoebox. but oh dear if they ever get out of here she will act. this must be stopped. i must be the most majestic thing here. not that im worried about some dumb sheep but ive heard her ooh and ahh over those darn lambs. oh no, i just remembered, her owner got her a big stuffed sheep from tsc(tractor supply company) for christmas. that was a sign, i just know it!! there are fiber goats but she said they aren't colored enough. i hardly call brown, tan, black and white colors. sounds more like a chunk of dirt to me with a little tar and paper mixed in. i must do something about this, but what?

gerald the endangered majestic goat

This Had Better Be a Joke

2010-01-11T11:17:00.000-08:00

one of the humans few friends sent this to her. i really hope its a joke cause im gonna sue for slander. i have never attacked a teletubby. i would have hired a sniper to take it out. so anyway whoever made this is giving us goats a baaad reputation. i have never dropped out of a tree onto a human, ever. so tell me what you think my many friends. i am very concerned about this.

http://goat-trauma.org

gerald the sniper hiring goat

Some of my Friends

2010-01-10T10:28:00.000-08:00

here are some of my friends that are staying at the humans friends place. it's been very hard on the human cause she loves her goats alot. she said life is so weird without them just outside everyday. she has found a few houses they are interested in so maybe just maybe something will happen so that she can move back in the country and get back to life the way she loves it.

from left to right: gidget(nigerian/boer, vera(lamancha), and rose(mini mancha)

gerald the country loving goat

Snowy Cat is in Big Trouble

2010-01-09T08:52:00.000-08:00

last night the humans owner brought her a dozen of roses. the human doesn't get flowers often so she was really excited. she put them in a vase on the counter top. they sat looking pretty for the evening. during the sleeping time someone chewed on petals and broke two roses in half. i examined the chew marks and snowy is the only one who could have done it. the human is really upset. everytime she gets something one of us(well not me) destroys it. the humans owner got her a big stuffed sheep and one of the dogs puked on it. i could go on and on but i won't. poor human though.

gerald the sympathetic goat

Perseus Speaks

2010-01-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

im talking over for gerald today. he is so weak from lack of cookies he went to bed. i think he is pouting. i ate his cookies but don't tell him. he acts as if he is so special but im the favorite. he's been stomping around demanding cookies. i have a cookie stash he doesn't know about. the human is very kind to all of us. gerald put on some pounds which is why he doesn't get any cookies. i bet he left that part out. goats. anyway i'm supposed to guard the goats. human says i am a pleasure to have around. i'v never heard her say that about gerald. right now the only thing i guard is the cat, snowy, and the humans. im pretty quiet and don't jump up on people which makes my human very happy. she always gets me pig ears and cow ears to chew on to let me know how much she loves me. she scratches me alot too just to let me know how much she likes me. i have a great life here. can't wait to do my real job.

perseus the might

Human at Doctors Again

2010-01-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

human went to the doctor again. he wanted to see if she was better. thankfully she was but not in the pain area. so finally, after seven years, she got a referral to pain management. i hope this means she will start taking better care of me. my hooves still need trimmed and i haven't had a cookie in i don't know how long. i need my cookies!!

gerald the neglected goat

More Pain For the Human

2010-01-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

im starting to feel bad for her. the other night the evil one year old hit her in the head with the broom handle. she never saw it coming. lastnight the evil one flopped down on her and hit his head on hers hard. miraculously he managed to hit her in exactly the same spot the the broom hit her. again she was completely unprepared. she said her head hurt and i think she has a knot on her head. she also burnt her finger in the stove. guess im gonna have to step up protection duty or she is gonna be dead by the end of the week.

gerald the protective goat

More to Tell

2010-01-03T09:59:00.000-08:00

okay we read the shower story which was great. i now have proof that the human is stupid. today she is supposed to be going to see her goats. her friend said they have piglets and not to touch them cause the mom will kill the human. its just a pot bellied pig, how much damage can that little thing do? well as soon as she was told not to touch she has an uncontrolled desire to touch those piglets. she told her friend this. her friend does not care if the pig kills her cause she's hoping for pictures or videos of the whole thing. i like this friend. she has goats and wants the human dead. sounds like the perfect friend to me!

gerald the murderous goat

Humans Clumsiness(aka stupidity) Strikes Again

2010-01-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

yes it is true. not hard to believe though. humans just lack the grace and intelligence of animals. so the human left the old year with an accident and had another one for the new year. it was a shower thing. she swears the shower is slippery. so she slipped and fell. it's okay to laugh, i do everytime i think about it. when she fell she did what most humans do, tried to grab something to stop the falling. yes, yes, she grab the shower curtain which also brought the rod down on her face. oh i am dieing, this is so funny. so there she is covered in the shower cutain, huddled in a heap on the shower floor. i don't know how the humans owner keeps a straight face during her attention getting schemes. see i would have taken the opportunity to raid the fridge or something. not the humans owner. no, he is nice and helps her. he could have raided the fridge with me. oh well his loss. i guess she hurt her hip too. lovely, so now she is gonna dramatically limp about in hopes of getting treats im sure. i think she should be culled. if she were an animal and acted like that she would be culled for the preservasion of the herd. its just unbelievable the favors given to humans.

gerald the graceful goat

Humans Are Not Very Bright!

2009-12-31T12:43:00.001-08:00

this morning my human decided to pour boiling water over her hand. WHY?? now she is in pain with a weeping hand and whining the whole way!! someone tape her mouth shut. i have never known anyone as accident prone as her.

gerald the safe goat

Human Trouble

2009-12-30T09:06:00.000-08:00

my human is getting annoying. it started with the beginning of this year. she had to have emergency gallbladder surgery. boohoo. blah! then her face absessed so bad she spent four days in the hospital. boohoo! then she had major dental work. boohoo! oh and she says sleep denistry is a load of poo as she was awaks for the whole thing and it was horrible. boohoo!! you see where im headed i hope. she is nothing but problems. she needs to be exterminated or something. oh and did i mention that last year in october she brought a little monster named phineas home from the hospital. because of him shehas a monster sized incisional hernia that is preexisting and has to stay till it strangulates or time runs out on the preexist part. boohoo! again she is nothing but problems. can't they give her a new body or something? she's been spending more time at the doctors than she does taking care of my special needs ( gourmet treats, carrots, the best goat feed etc.) and i need my hooves trimmed. HELLO HUMAN!!! ME, ME, ME, ME!!! she is so selfish. so what if the pill cabinet looks more like a pharmacy. stop popping pills, junkie, and do your job!!! humans are nothing but trouble.

gerald the hoof rot goat

Planning

2009-12-05T09:11:00.000-08:00

well i think im gonna leave pics of penelope up, maybe add some of her classic moments. im not ready to say goodbye since there is no body. antonio is out of here. he was just an irritant anyway. my stunt double is missing so i won't be doing anything too exciting till human gets a new one. so for now ill start changing the look of things i think. we'll see though as im feeling very lazy. all this city life is pretty boring..

gerald the lazy goat

Update

2009-12-04T13:41:00.000-08:00

so in the last year, oh lets not update all that. right now we are living in town. the goats are at a friends of our humans and their is a big court mess going on about the country house. someone didn't do the wiring right and all the power went away. so for now i have to live in a neighborhood. i don't like it at all. there are only three rabbits left, one dog, and one cat. hmmm maybe she will take penelopes place. so thats pretty much it. in january the humans are going to look for a new place. my human goes and visits her goats on weekends but is sad about it. she really misses them and the ducks and chickens. they tried to move the birds but they went out to old property and everything was missing. can't talk about what happened on here but not cool at all. so i will reorganize and get this all going again.

gerald the neighborhood goat

The Return of Gerald

2009-12-04T12:51:00.000-08:00

i am thinking of coming back. i will have to make some changes cause penelope is gone and antonio died at a protest. i should come back. the people need me. right? oh yes!

gerald the furry wonder

Human Cleans Up After Gerald

2008-10-03T14:21:00.000-07:00

gerald will be re-posting his breast cancer post later. i asked him to remove it and think about what he really wanted to say. as we all know gerald often just runs his mouth and makes absolutely no sense. this is in no way an apology. we just feel that it needed some clarification.

human

Biden Smiden

2008-10-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

this guy apparently is still stuck in kindergarten. how many times is this guy gonna say "fair"? i bet he was the crybaby in the neighborhood. "mommy, johnny won't let me have his toys", "mommy, johnny has more legos than me so he needs to give me some cause that's fair". poor johnny was probably taught the fair rule too or he would have kicked bidens ass. yeah i made all this up but i hate the word "fair" too. i'm a hater. oh and where is bidens pink ribbon pin? maybe i should send him a pink ribbon shaped bagel.

gerald the hating goat

On the News Tonight

2008-09-26T18:29:00.000-07:00

i don't really watch the news but i did tonight. i watched the local news. did you know that if you want to put an obama baloma sign in your front yard the democratic party will charge you five dollars!!! hahahahahaha mccain signs are free but obama needs your money for his national healthcare program i guess. now i thought the democrats were all about giving handouts and whining about all the suffering going on in the country. oh sure, as long as it doesn't come out of their pockets. sound like a bit of a contradiction? yeah i thought so too.

gerald the news watching goat

FEMA

2008-09-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

there have been alot of talk on the forums lately about how fema sucks. what is wrong with people? it isn't fema's fault that people live where hurricanes happen. why do the people need the government to come and save their asses? fema is a perk of a country completely dependant on it's government to make everything okay again. if i'm right it wasn't so long ago that there was no electricity. since 9/11 there have been a million places with lists of what to have on hand in case of a disaster or attack. one of the important things on the list is water. yep WATER!! doesn't it make sense if you live in a disaster zone that you should have stuff put away? i think so. but i guess it's much easier to not prepare and blame the government when you don't want to blame your own stupidity. now our humans were not prepared for either of their natural disasters. the first one, sure they got cranky, but my human made a stove from candles and they ate cheeseburgers and fried egg sammies so the stuff didn't go bad the first day without power. had they been smart they would have had non perishables and water saved up but they weren't smart. my human has an ice storm under her belt too and that is much easier to handle than the hurricanes and floods. at least you can keep stuff cold. it does get very irritating not having luxuries such as electricity and running water but with some simple preparation you don't need to get angry at the government for not saving your ass every time the wind blows too hard. now i understand the elderly and handicapped can't do this but if people are soooooo worried about them then why aren't they stocking up for them too. in the old days people helped people not the government. so here are my tips for the next time you find yourself living through a natrual disaster.........

shut up and quit whining, it is not the governments fault you aren't prepared

everytime you empty a 2 liter bottle or other plastic container with a lid fill it with water and add a couple drops of bleach, replace lid and put away, it stays good for a long time

everytime you go to the store buy some extra canned stuff and put it away somewhere else

buy candles and hurricane lamps and put those away too

remember to depend on yourself as you are the only one that can take care of yourself and your family

shut up and quit whining

first aid stuff should be put up too

if you live where an ice storm could affect you then saving up scraps of wood and such in a pile might be good idea to build a fire outside with to cook or keep you warm

if you don't like that option candles placed under a frying pan that are elevated by those canned goods makes a fine stove, you can use this if you don't live in a cold area too, cooking can take a little longer or faster depending on the size candles you use, my human prefers smaller candles cause it is possible to burn things, if you are really creative then the possibilities are endless for what can be used to make a homemade stove

remember that there is no one to blame, except maybe yourself for living where you live, so don't start bitching about fema not coming to your door with presents

you will feel alot better about yourself if you do this all yourself, really you will

don't gorge yourself on all your stored food the first day, use what is in your fridge and freezer asap so you at least have some decent food the first day, it will definitely help your mood

flashlights are a nice touch for nighttime when you go to bed, there is nothing as dark as an entire city without power and the moon isn't out, it can be very overwhelming to not be able to see your hand in front of your face, if you really can't stand it then those floating candles are great cause a bowl of water is less likely to catch fire

baby wipes are good to have on hand for wiping your smelly body with, don't waste water if you don't have to, so get alot of them, fema will not be providing you with a hot bath

bathroom? yeah we haven't come up with much for that besides using a bag or digging a hole outside, keep your waste outside though

this is a good time to wish you had chickens and rabbits but if you don't then just know i will be enjoying meat while you are eating canned ravioli and tuna

don't wait to prepare for this mess a month before disaster season, it's best to start all of this now. next year or the year after you might need it and you will be glad the goat told you so.

oh i almost forgot, if you have small kids they will be bored and drive you nuts only adding to your stress and desire to blame the government. you can put them up for adoption or if you prepared you will have some stuff put away that they haven't ever played with before. magna doodles, coloring books (dover makes some cool ones), crayons, markers, games etc. will keep them occupied for a little while. johnny and susie will still drive you nuts because they can't watch t.v. and play nintendo so just spank them and tell them to shut up or you will put them up for adoption. times like these will also let you know just how spoiled and ungrateful your kids truly are and might be a good time to reevaluate your parenting. the less whining you do the better you will look to them. their attitude will reflect your attitude so if your attitude sucks and you blame the government then they will grow up the same way. nothing like a bunch of whiny adults and children in the same room so maybe you should have yourself rehomed to the asylum.

there are a ton of other things to add to this list but it isn't my responsibility. if you are too dumb to figure it all out then the asylum is the best place for you, not on t.v. crying and cussing about how the government failed you. the most important thing to remember is that IT IS NOT FEMAS FAULT you are too retarded to plan ahead.

gerald the prepared goat

Of Mice and Moles

2008-09-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

our human doesn't really have a problem with mice. she expects that living in the country there will be mice on occasion that get in. the first one was spotted in the bedroom and then one was peaking out at her from behind the stove. she can hear them scurry around in the vents. the cats can hear them too. penelope had spent two days in the kitchen staring under the stove only to have a kitten catch the thing. the humans owner was very proud of the kitten. i think penelope was a little ticked about it though. some cat also caught the other one but the only evidence was a little tail laying on the floor. the humans four year old promptly picked it up and began chasing the other children around the house with it. strange kid and yes she washed her hands when she was done making the girls scream. did i say the kid was strange. she must get it from our human. our human was a sick little kid too. when her sisters parakeet died it was placed in a paper bag. my human grabbed that bag and chased her older sister around the house with it. so mental illness is genetic. anyway back to the mice and moles. well penelope was so put out about not catching mice inside that she went out and got one. brought it in with her when she came back. it didn't stop there though. she must have found a nest outside or something because the other cats started sneaking them in. little tiny mice. some were dead but a couple weren't!! well no big deal cause if there aren't any mice outside then they can't sneak in when it's cold out. lastnight the cats came in. my human was sewing and kept hearing a squeaking. the cats were in a group by the door. one moved and there was a large grayish thing flopping around on the floor. what the heck is that? rat? baby bunny? oh no, it was a mole!!! cute fat little thing but we can't have live moles in the house. the humans owner put it in a jar and tossed it outside. the dog got it. i think the cats were a little mad that their toy was taken away. my human had never seen a real mole except the ones eric and flynn catch and show on their blog. at least it wasn't a rat or a snake.

gerald the majestic goat

Yummy Bunny

2008-08-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

i wish i had pictures. my human ended up killing another one yesterday cause she decided one rabbit wouldn't feed everyone. she did much better at butchering that one. i figured out what is making her gag. it's the guts. they kind of stink. anyway the two buns were roasted with bacon on them. they came out tender and good. i didn't know they were white meat. pretty neat. even the legs were white. i understand why people pay so much for rabbit dinner now. so i guess that is the first and only success here at the hobby farm of death. for those of you who have tried wild rabbit and did not like it then you should try the home raised kind.

gerald the rabbit eating goat

Fierce Killer

2008-08-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

it's official, my human is a fierce killer. she decided to butcher one of the rabbits. now she has never done this before but said she needed the practice. don't they make fake rabbits for this? guess not. so out she went with her tools of cutting. i watched from the window as i was afraid she might decide a goat would be a better practice animal. it was disgusting!!! she cut the head off and tossed the bloody thing to the dog. just picture a bloody rabbit head flying through the air. she doesn't have an axe so someone please send her an axe so it doesn't take so long to get the head off. oh don't worry the rabbit was already dead during this part. maybe a really sharp butcher knife would work. yeah send her one of those. so anyway the head is off and bunny is hung to bleed out. she came in and sat down during this part. i looked for signs that she was crazy but she seemed rather calm. maybe that's the craziness. i don't have a problem with her doing this, i'm just afraid she will move on to bigger things. anyway she went back out to finish the job. it took forever it seems for her to skin it. of course her sick little kids wanted to help. aren't little girls supposed to be squeamish? not these two. her 4yr old loved it. i think she is the one i need watch out for. anyway she got it skinned and next came the gutting. did i mention she has no idea what she is doing. well the kids wanted to know what everything was so she stood there going over the parts. i didn't know rabbits had so many guts! nasty. i saw my human step away at one point. i think she was going to puke. then she started cutting and pulling and then it was done. she sent in a kid to tell her owner she was coming in with the carcass so he would be warned. then she came in and washed it, tossed it in a pan of salt water and put it in the fridge. in the meantime the girls were running around outside with rabbit fur. at least they washed their hands. so i guess we're having roast rabbit for dinner tonight. maybe i shouldn't have watched. i wanted to take pics but my human said no cause she probably didn't cut the legs right and doesn't want the whole world to see it. she did seem to be on some sort of high and said she wondered if hunting was as great. a high from killing? i think i should be concerned. i heard her say she can't wait to do the next one and then a goat!!!! nooooooooooooo! can't she just stick with rabbits? well she will need a bigger setup than she has right now to be able to do a goat so i have some time. i suppose there is one good thing to come from all of this.........if the world ever goes to crap then at least i know the human can feed us. yep we'll be eating rabbit, duck, chicken, and goat while everyone else is starving! ya know people pay high prices to eat duck and rabbit at a restaurant and here i am eating it for free. well no duck yet but i heard them talking about one for christmas if the ducks lay eggs in time. so i guess living with poor people isn't so bad.

We're Not Leaving

2008-08-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

well it wasn't pretty, but i won! i convinced my human, using much violence, that we would be keeping the internet and phone. god gave me these horns and big hard hooves for a reason. my human has learned this reason and won't be giving me any trouble for some time. i don't usually choose violence but i was tired of her crap! the thought of being here without a connection to the outside world was too much for me and i snapped. don't worry though, she'll be fine. but really does anyone care about my human? no, it's all about me. the only time she even posts is when she is threatening me. i guess the point here is that i win!

Some Farm and Life Updates

2008-08-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

i hate my human. after stressing how freakish those earless goats are someone offered her two, mom and daughter, for free!!! do you think she said no? of course not. she said "heck yeah, gerald hates those things, so i'm gonna take them, just to piss him off". i haven't left by the front door in days. the baby, aside from being a freak, has freaky blue eyes. i think i can open up a freak show now. i just don't understand why she has to be this way. i've said it before but i'll say it again, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EARS!!!!!

well lets see she brought home a baby goat too. i like him. he isn't to keep but he gets to stay for awhile. he is out of a doe that she wants really bad.

i think they are going to breed him to the psycho bitch goat cinabon when he is old enough. my humans owner hates that goat. i could write a book about all the stuff she has done to make him angry, very angry. i like her though. nothing makes my human growl more than that goat does. she sleeps on the van. wouldn't stay in the pen till the human decided to milk her now she jumps in for regular visits to her kid so he can drink all the milk. she unlatched a rabbit cage, got inside of the cage to eat the rabbit food, and then tore up the cage getting out. three rabbits got out from the big hole she made in it. oh let's see, what else has this wonderful goat done to tick off my human. oh yeah she pulled out the internet wiring and it took them a week to figure out how to put it back together. she bit my human on the top of the head. that was the best but not as good as when they were holding her so the baby goat could nurse and cinabon latched on to my humans arm and bit her four times in an attempt to get a larger chunk of flesh!! it didn't really hurt i guess but it was fun to watch. this goat would be burger by now if it weren't for the fact that it is my humans sons goat. oh and she is in milk which apparently if you can lactate around here you get a free meal ticket. i must figure out how to lactate. here she is standing on the van. doesn't she look evil.

when my human was getting fred banded (testicles get a rubber band around the base so they fall off, ewww) she got to bring home a goose for the 2yr old daughter. what kind of kid wants a goose? my humans freak kids of course. the 2 yr. old acted like she had been given a puppy. i don't like geese either. they hiss. yeah cats do too but they are cats. there is something wrong with a bird hissing. my human said she only hisses at me. figures. she is probably conspiring with the earless freaks. the goose is now hanging out with the ducks. i guess if you can lay an egg you also get a free meal ticket. i'm still trying to figure out how to lay eggs.

okay and now here are the rabbits. everyone loves rabbits. they are cute, fuzzy, and they taste great. most of the white ones in the picture are bucks so if they don't sell soon, like within the week, they are headed to freezer camp!! my human says it will be great butchering practice for her. i'm not going to watch but i plan to have my fork ready. my human has only ever opened up one rabbit and has only put two down so this should be interesting. she cried the first time she put one down. she says it's because it wasn't a rabbit for dinner but one of her favorites. the next one she put down was also one of her best breeders but cause she had done it before it wasn't as bad. hmmm i wonder if she starts killing rabbits without flinching if she will grow numb and start killing larger animals too. she has spoken of killing boy goats for meat that are born here if they can't sell them. i really need to start laying eggs, lactating, or get a sex change. she might get kill happy and kill me for the practice.

i think that is most of the news for now. i'm sure there is more. oh yeah the debit card number theft that has nearly ruined them. my human said we aren't even gonna have internet come end of the month. what? my only thread to life outside of this house? i told her to sell the animals but she said internet and phone are luxuries and eventually the animals will pay off. what? that is the biggest load of poo i have ever heard. i guess the goat pulling the cord proved that everyone could live without the internet. the phone hadn't worked for months anyway even though they pay the bill. my human wouldn't have anyone come out to fix it because she is a freak of nature and doesn't like to be around people. she says it upsets her life balance out here when people come out. my human is a nut job.

her goat ginger had been pregnant, human thought so, everyone else said she was just fat, and then the goat miscarried triplets while she was away getting bred. see, house of death!

the humans got new neighbors and they said the goats can use their fields to graze in. my human is ecstatic about this since when they asked the guy they bought the place from how much another acre would be he told them 10 grand!! my human kept her mouth shut for a change cause the old man doesn't like women but she nearly passed out when she heard him say it.

my human no longer likes the post office. she had to sell her incubator cause they needed money and the darn thing never arrived to it's destination. now the people think she scammed them and she doesn't have the money to refund them. she is never shipping anything again. some postal worker is probably sitting at home with the thing full of eggs. guess she should have gotten the insurance and a tracking number. lesson learned but she said she is still never shipping anything again.

so i guess that's everything. i'll try to cram in as much as i can before i have to go for awhile. hate to disappoint my fans. maybe if i start laying eggs or lactating i can sell tickets and raise some money. then i could get some fancy clothes. nothing better than a well dressed mountain goat. the ladies love it. really they do.

gerald the well dressed goat

The War on Obesity is Just a War Against Freedom

2008-08-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

l.a. is banning any more fast food restaurants from opening in their poor communities. only poor people eat fast food i guess. i've always believed the government would start their control of the people with the military and then the poor. i think this just proves it. now i personally think this is very scary. no one seemed to even protest it. why? well the poor are probably on assistance and to go against the hand that feeds could cut them off. that's how they get ya. poor people are stupid, if they weren't they wouldn't be poor, right? the goal of this seems to be to get the poor and stupid to go to the grocery store or a sit down slow food restaurant to get food. hmmmm last time i checked applebees serves some pretty high calorie stuff as does about every sit down and stay kind of place. if you want an unhealthy meal you can get it at wendy's just as you can at any fancy place. they want more grocery stores to have land available to come to that area so people can buy more mac and cheese. i'm sorry but aside from this being just plain controlling it won't work. what are they gonna do if these poor, stupid people learn how to cook? well then they will have to go into the stores and ban everything that is considered bad by the health kooks. or the poor will be given a special mark so the stores know they can only by tofu and not a cake mix. other cities think this is a great idea and are planning to implement the same thing in their poor communities. again, no one thinks this is a bad idea which just suggests how dangerous our government and its people are becoming. remember how public schools started telling parents what their kids could and couldn't bring for lunch? well someone should have stopped that but no one did. it isn't anyones business if someone wants to be a fat ass. sure it ain't pretty but better to have a bunch of fat asses running around than the government telling us what we can and can't eat, right? you would think so. now my human is poor and stupid based off of all the charts and such. they only eat fast food a few times a year cause they can't afford it. what was that? THEY CAN'T AFFORD IT!!! so maybe the middle and upper class should be the ones banned from fast food. there are plenty of fat rich people out there. i mean lets keep things equal. that's what this country is all about right? honestly even if my human could afford to eat out all the time she wouldn't because the kids would rebel and kill her. why? well they like homemade food better. if given the choice between froot loops or eggs, toast, and oatmeal the kids will always pick the eggs, toast, and oatmeal. so based off of this not all poor people are food giants that only eat bad fast food. in fact alot of poor people eat real food all the time because it is cheaper than eating out. so fat people, fight for your grease so that the rest of us can have it too!

gerald the poor healthy goat

Kid-Sitting

2008-07-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

my human is kid-sitting

sure they look cute and innocent don't they? see that little one in the front with those creepy blue eyes. well i am certain she is a terroist. i know, i know, she's just a little thing but she is pure evil!! it's true, i've seen her in action. now the big guy in the back isn't so bad except when the little girl is out and then it's like having ten toddlers in one room. they run, they jump, they eat magazines, they eat hair, and they chew on me too. i have got to take a vacation. it get's worse though. the kids need milk so my human said these two other goats could come over too. oh goody, more girls for me!! WRONG!! do you notice anything wrong with them?

THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EARS!!!! this is no accident folks. they are la manchas. my human didn't tell me they wouldn't have ears. when i went outside i started screaming and ran back in the house. i thought they'd been in some freak accident or some strange experiment. no, no, no. they are supposed to be that way!!! i must say i am afraid of them. my human said they are very nice and gentle but i'm not going near them. i can hardly look at them. in fact i'm not leaving the house until they are gone. this just isn't natural. even worse is my human is talking about maybe getting one next year. i told her, no way!! goats are supposed to have ears, the longer the better. i just can't understand why she would want those freaks living here.

gerald the eared goat

Eggtastic

2008-07-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

well the human has been waiting and waiting and it finally happened. her b-day egg hatched. cute little thing once it dried. maybe the incubator wasn't such a bad idea. she built a hatcher for them to go into to hatch and i must say, please, someone, teach her how to build stuff. the hatcher is scary. she uses duct tape like a man. i'm suprised she hasn't built a home out of the stuff. she has even taped my mouth shut with it before. it took me a month to grow my fur back!! well anyway here is the new addition to the chicken project.

Tidbits from Penelope

2008-07-07T03:42:00.000-07:00

time for some serious issues.

obama is the next messiah. are you laughing? well you should be. my human heard that people are calling him the messiah. well we now have proof that some americans are truly insane and do indeed need all those anti-pyschotic drugs that everyone is pushing. please locate these believers and give them drugs.

"pay it forward" or your an ass! i sure am tired of all these public displays of kindness. i think we've mentioned this before but running through the streets and going on t.v. telling everyone how great you are because you pay it forward is not right. shhhhh. it's supposed to be a quiet thing, not a big deal. now you can get airtime on oprah for doing something for someone else. worse is that these people are trying to make everyone else feel bad if they aren't busting their ass for others. giving and doing for others is a personal thing. in most people it is already built in. we don't need the media telling us to do it or making us feeling bad if we aren't. sometimes just smiling at someone is giving back. oh and did i mention i don't care for the title "pay it forward". can't stand it! on a forum recently someone said it should be mandatory for people to watch some movie(i think) called "pay it forward"(cringe). mandatory? oh sure next we'll be fined for not paying it forward. there will be a "p.i.f." police who will track everyone to make sure they are giving back. if not you will have to go to a course on paying it forward. somehow i think this attention and pressure on people to do this takes away from the heart which is supposed to be the important part. next we'll have people going on talk shows for help because they can't say "no" to anyone. there will be marital problems because women(the usual culprit behind this crap) are neglecting their families more than ever. "i just didn't have time for them because i was saving the world" "i know johnny needs to go to the doctor for his cancer but mrs. jones needed her hedges trimmed and her poodle washed" "i know we need to eat but the people down the road need food too so we are just going to have to starve" it's foolishness and just plain dangerous. especially in the hands of oprah. stop telling us that we need to pay it forward. now i know there are stories in the bible about giving away the last of your oil and god providing for you because you helped people but i'm sure there are passages in the bible about being foolish. again though it's a heart thing however women are usually controlled by their hearts and without supervision they could really mess stuff up. "i'm addicted to giving" aren't i great!" "look at me, look at me, i'm so important!"

gas prices got you down? kill the earth day freaks.

the economy is going to hell and we're all going to die. "i can't get my morning breakfast at mcdonalds, things are sooooo bad" "prices are going up on everything and we will all starve if we can't get those frozen pizzas for dinner" learn to bloody cook you pathetic thing! better yet free range some chickens on your lawn and you'll have eggs and meat right in your yard. yeah i know, you can't kill animals. animals are people too. "i could never butcher anything" yes you can you just aren't hungry enough yet. people need to stop whining and crying to the politicians and help themselves. obama isn't going to feed you or save the economy. obama isn't going to bring gas prices down for you. oh sure they might but they want to take over the oil business so they can CONTROL it. no thanks, i'll take the high prices over communism anyday. people panic too easy. the worst thing people can do when the economy is bad is to go to your government wanting them to fix everything. oh sure they'll fix it but when it is all said and done, when you can get your morning breakfast at the drive thru, you will find that the government will tell you what you can eat for breakfast. so please people, just adjust.

penelope the cat who helps herself

She's At It Again!!

2008-07-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

sometimes living in this house is hell. my human is always trying to find ways to save money. her newest adventure involved making laundry soap and dishwasher soap. great, right? no it's not great! i had to make it! she said i need to start pulling my weight around here and it wouldn't kill me to help her out with some stuff. apparently my handsome presence isn't enough for her! so here i am making laundry soap. the grating was hell cause she only had a tiny grater. someone please send this woman a large grater. although my hooves did get a much needed trimming my legs were very tired and she wouldn't let me stop!! next i had to put the grated soap and the powders in a pan and boil till they dissolved. it's hot in here, the last thing i want to do is be close to a boiling pot! i even heard her say if i didn't stop complaining she'd push me in!!! unbelievable! today i'm getting a bath in the stuff cause i'm dirty. i am also the test subject to see if the stuff works. gee, couldn't she use the clothes? what if the stuff eats my fur off? or worse my beautiful horns. hopefully i'll post after my bath, unless i'm dead.

oh and it didn't gel up right and she blamed me! i just followed the recipe. the dishwasher soap worked really well though so she was pleased with that. she has me researching how to fix the laundry soap and i have until noon to find a solution. i don't know what happens at noon if i don't have one but i imagine she'll have me do more work. i might need a vacation after this.

gerald the soap making goat

The Newest Additions

2008-06-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

our human has acquired more animals over the past couple months. eric and flynn, i made sure to get some kitty pics on here. our human has also acquired alot of death around this place. after floppy she lost spiro her best buck, lilly the big white new zealand, solitaire the little white new zealand, alice the gray chinchilla mix, super buck, two kittens got stepped on and died, many chickens lost their lives, her black lab mix puppy died, all but 4 of the baby bunnies died and one new black rabbit. geesh is that everything? the rabbits died from snuffles like floppy did. she recently got some new rabbits from great stock so hopefully this round will go better. oh i forgot. fuzzball the white new zealand had one baby lastnight that died. oh dear there is more, two of the three new turkeys also died. amazingly the three ducks are still here and very large. the human also has an uncubator with eggs, lots of eggs, in it. hatches will be around the 17th of july. oh and if you have any animals that you want to "off" just let them live over here at the house of death! so here are all the new things

the eggs

the new chickens and turkey

the kittens

Starrynight the buck

father and son

New Rabbits all does

i think that's everything. there are two more large hens not pictured. one of them is black and quite stunning. our human got the hens for the eggs since they only have one hen left from the origional batch and she hasn't started laying yet. i also think it's pretty neat that goat boy is starrynights son. she should have left goat boy intact. starrynight will be used for breeding.

oh i forgot the other two new goats.

here is cinabon and her baby fred.

cinabon is an escape artist. jumps over everything.

lastly i'll add a picture of the ducks because we all love ducks!

gerald

making it one day at a time at the house of death

Back With Lemon Pie Wisdom

2008-06-29T13:55:00.000-07:00

our human finds wisdom in the strangest things. today she was making a lemon pie for her owner for his birthday. every year she says she'll make him one on his b-day and never has until this year. his mother always made him lemon pie on his b-day and this got my human thinking. has she really taken proper care of him all these years by not making him this pie that he has always had on this day. sure it's just a pie but perhaps it has more meaning than pie. his mother loved and cared for him and therefore made him what he wanted on his birthday. now sure that's a mothers love but shouldn't she also love and care for him the same way? well yes of course she should. having a son she thought about this more. when her son marries she wants his wife to take care of him and love him to no end. the pie is an extended expression of her love. it is an extra way of saying i love you so much i am going to continue this tradition for you. sure it's alot of work but in the long run and for years to come it is worth it. maybe people should treat their spouses the way they want their childrens spouses to treat them. maybe that goes beyond the "do unto others". afterall don't humans love their children more than themselves?

gerald the very sappy goat

who would just like to add that the husbands b-day was yesterday and she was a day late, haha

Anniversary & Vacation

2008-05-20T12:17:00.001-07:00

our humans' anniversary was saturday and they both forgot!! haha! our human thought that maybe he remembered and was waiting to see if she'd say anything, but not the case, he forgot too! oh, can you feel the love?!

my human informed me that we are on vacation. what? no one is going anywhere so i don't see the point. i think she's just too busy with the goats and such to pay attention to my needs. i plan to put a serious stop to this. penelope thinks it's a fine thing. well of course she does. what do cats do? they lay around. her life is a vacation. pampered with a bowl of food and water. i have to go out and find food. somehow i think this isn't right. the human should have to go out and pull food for me. there is grain but apparently since i'm not a girl in milk i don't get any. oh the injustice!!! i was going to find a new home but the human said i wouldn't be able to find a home with goats where bucks gets grain. maybe i'll have to start hanging with ginger during milking time. she gets a big bowl of food. i think i'm getting the short end of the stick here!

gerald the grain free goat

Chickens on Goats

2008-05-08T16:44:00.000-07:00

well since i'm a goat and they are goats i see no reason why there shouldn't be pictures of goats on here. they are more interesting than rabbits. plus you can't milk a rabbit! plus i think ginger is pretty cute! i'm not sure why the chickens are sitting on them though. even more confusing is why the goats are just standing there letting them.

gerald the majestic goat

Goodbye Floppy

2008-05-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

one of our humans favorite rabbits, her french lop, floppy got sick saturday. our human did everything she could for her but by sunday evening she was so bad that the human decided to end her suffering. poor bunny. poor human. she is hoping none of the other rabbits get it but already two of floppy's babies have died from the same thing along with all of lilly's. sorry human we know it was tough. floppy was a fine girl.

penelope writing with geralds permission

The Return of the King!

2008-04-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

oh goodness! what has happened to my beautiful blog?! bad kitty! my picture is gone, there are cute fluffy bunny pictures, and not a thing of importance has been mentioned. see what happens when you leave women in charge. vote hillary! hahaha only kidding.

anyway i know you wanted some gruesome surgery pictures but this isn't reality t.v. i will appear in pictures when my neck has healed. the important thing is that i'm back and order can return. penelope, i will thank you for at least keeping things running, and mentioning the animal i.d. thing but other than that i'm not sure how i feel about your work here. fluffy bunnies? i just don't know. it's good to be back though and that is what is important.

gerald the goat king

Before He Gets Back........

2008-04-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

i thought i'd get some more foofy bunny pics in. here are lylahs babies just over a week old. aren't they cute. they are soooo soft. their eyes are starting to open. one of them is a chunky monkey. my human hopes it's a girl and good stock so she doesn't have to sell it or eat it. she's questioning the killing part. i told her to just find someone to kill them, slit their throats, and then hack off the head for her. after that it's just fur and meat, oh and guts. wow this is great conversation about these little furballs!! well here they are. sorry for the yuck!

penelope

Gerald's Coming Back!!

2008-04-11T10:22:00.000-07:00

he is in the wash now. i can hear him screeming. she put it on hot. once he is dry my human is going to give him some extra guts and sew him shut. the dogs had got him, then got him again. his head was like a pez dispenser. haha if only he did give out pez. my human told him what i have been up to here. i heard carrying on about "freakin, fluffy rabbit pictures with cats?!!!" apparently, even when his head is falling off he can still run his mouth. i think his comeback blog is about his dislike for indians so this should be good. our popularity should plummet! i can't wait. i still plan to post cause without me we wouldn't have cute fluffy bunny pictures.

penelope

Lilly Had Babies Too!!!

2008-04-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

boy was this a big surprise. she had seven during the morning. my human didn't even know she was pregnant cause she figured since she was for sale at age three they had retired her for a reason. the bad thing is that they were born in the community cage and looking closely some have knicks on them. they were pretty cold when she found them but are much warmer now. hopefully all of these make it.

penelope

Then there were two

2008-04-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

well two more baby bunnies died. she still has babies in her belly so maybe those will be okay if she ever has them.

penelope

Bunny Update

2008-04-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

well one of the bunnies died. my human tried to save it but it wasn't having it. lylah still has babies in her belly. apparently she got pregnant at another session with spiro. everyone said the buck is supposed to fall over when he's done but he never did so my human thought they just weren't doing it right. WRONG she was!!! well hopefully no more babies die and lylah gets this over soon. my human looked a little stressed this morning. don't know why? this place is a nuthouse!! she should be used to it by now!

penelope

Baby Bunnies!

2008-04-03T07:50:00.000-07:00

oh it's very exciting here today. lylah had her babies!!! of course she escaped and had them under the couch. my human wasn't happy because under the couch is very scary. well incase you can't count there are five plump little babies. mom and babies have been returned to their cage and mom is still trying to escape. hopefully she figures out the babies are in there with her. oh dear gotta help catch the mom again. geesh! they kind of look like hairless rats.

penelope

Lylah is Getting Closer!

2008-04-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

well lylah got her bigger mama cage. she is building her nest. they sure can carry alot of stuff in their little mouths. she was trying to build it in the goat crate but everytime the goat got put back the nest would get destroyed. after a couple days she seems to have accepted her fate that she will be building her nest in the nest box. she is due any day. you can see the babies moving around when she is laying on her side. we can't wait to see what they look like. i hope they like me as much as their mommy does.

penelope

Something Important! Say NO!! to NAIS

2008-04-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

now look, i'm just a cat so i can't write everything out here. my human was telling me about the NAIS thing. it's a bad thing and just another way for government to control your animals too!! they can come on your property and destroy your animals and you can't do a dang thing about it. all this hype about our protection is bogus!!! sure it's just your livestock right now but soon even us cats are gonna have to get this id thingy and the dogs. if you have one rabbit they want to be able to track it. i don't think the government has any business knowing how many rabbits, cats, dogs, fish, or anything we country folk have! it will move into the neighborhoods too. the really bad thing is that now to be able to show your animals they have to have a number. so now, alot of those kids in 4H are now dropping out because they will not get this stupid id number. so just say no to this. write your congressmen and even the lower branches and tell them you don't want your state adopting this rubbish!!! here are just a couple places to go but there are several others. more than several. most people seem to be against this.

http://www.ruralheritage.com/stop_nais/readers14.htm

and one of my humans favorite places

http://www.cafepress.com/getyergoat/1274956

get a good education from sources besides the usda. they are liars. this whole thing is ridiculous. it is voluntary but is already ruining alot of things. goodbye small farms, hobby farms, homesteading farms and alot of other good things. this will eventually become mandatory if we don't stand up for ourselves. ya know alot of other countries seem a little wacky cause when they get mad people rush into the streets protesting and catching stuff on fire but at least they are passionate. america needs to get rowled up about something and this is a good thing to get rowled up about. now please don't go catch your neighbors car on fire and hurt people. but there is nothing wrong with making yourself heard!!! if that doesn't work, then we can talk about acting crazy!!

penelope

fighting NAIS

and you should too

I Love Them!!!

2008-03-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

she finally got them!! i asked for temptaions because eric and flynn siad i might like those. like them? no way, i LOVE them!!! these are the best things i've ever had. i couldn't stop eating them. mom let me gorge a little cause she was so happy to find a treat i like. she took them so i would have some for later. these are nothing like those nasty pounce play-doh textered globs of gross. crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside!! oh my goodness i am in treat heaven. she said i didn't have to share either!! we don't force sharing cause it should be a heart thing. i will share cause i want kira, pepper, tiger(we think he is a she), oswald, and mr. robinson to experience this magnificent snack. the best part is they have them in the nearest town. she goes there alot so i don't have to wait for her to go to "big town". plus she said they were only one dollar. they only have the chicken flavor though. she did say when she goes to big town she would pick me up another flavor so i don't get sick of them. she's so nice. plus then there will be plenty for all of us!! she didn't charge the camera so the pics aren't the best ones she could have taken. you'd think she would have been more prepared for such a joyous occasion. oh well i got them and that is all that matters! thanks eric and flynn!!

hmmmm, i wonder what this is?

yummy! pepper tried to get some but i was in the way.

oh these are so good. pepper decided to watch instead. you can see her feet.

it's blurred cause i bumped the bag with my nose to make more come out!

mmmmm......thanks mom, eric and flynn. these are the best!!

penelope the very satisfied cat

My Kitty Friends!

2008-03-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

here are the kittens that had a rough start. the black and white one, oswald, had the deformed back legs. look at him now! he is doing great. his back legs do seem a tad bit longer than they should be and he might walk just a bit different but unless you know it, he seems normal. his brothers name is tiger. he tried to come out at the same time as oswald. oswalds tail was out and tigers feet were out. very confusing. they were pretty stuck. luckily they lived unlike the one that died. don't kill your kittens if their back legs are messed up!!

his eyes are still a little yucky but the vet rx is definitely helping

oswald was dipping his feet in the water dish. that's for the dogs so they must not have felt like climbing the gate.

oswald was getting ready to attack his brother

aren't his legs cute. he's really fuzzy and soft. i think he'll have longer hair then us regular cats!

oswald, tiger, and i sleep together when i'm not with the bunnies. i got to take them out to play the other day but they had to stay in the front.

penelope

Quack! Quack!

2008-03-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

oh yummy! we have quacks. there are only two but they will make more if they are boy and girl. if not the eggs will be yummy. i want more so i am certain to get a duck dinner! they are white pekin ducks. the most popular meat duck in the u.s. being patient is so hard. the human promises the wait will be worth it. if i kill anything i get nothing!! i don't think that is fair. i am a cat afterall. i have needs and instincts. give me duck or die!!!

penelope

Goat! It's What's for Dinner!

2008-03-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

we had goat shanks for easter dinner. the human had never had goat before so she thought she should try it to see if they will be eating their goats. the answer is yes, some of the goats will be food! gerald, you better hide. the goat shanks were very yummy! it looks like vomit in the pan but that's just the veggies it was cooked with! i highly suggest goat to anyone who has never had it. the recipe was very easy. the meat turned out very tender! EAT GOAT!! oh and it doesn't taste like chicken.

hmmm, what's in there?

yummy, goat shanks!

penelope the goat eating cat

Me and Lilly!

2008-03-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

i am the only one she is nice to. she doesn't like the other rabbits anymore. my human hopes that is because she is pregnant. she used to be nice to the other girl bunnies. i don't care about them. i'm just glad she still lets me cuddle with her.

penelope the bunny loving cat

I Really Do Love Those Bunnies!!

2008-03-22T06:07:00.000-07:00

this is me with lylah. she is one of humans favorite rabbits. the satin sh is mixed with makes her super soft. i was kneading her. the human asked if maybe i wasn't tenderizing her. i am so offended at that suggestion!! i ended up sleeping with her for about three hours. then someone kicked me out!! mean, very mean!!

penelope

Gerald Started Waking Up!!

2008-03-21T05:08:00.000-07:00

and then i whacked him on the head!! i just can't have him ruining things for me right now. the traffic is up. if he gets on here running his big furry mouth then i will hardly get to post. it's really better that way. i don't think he will remember it was me. i don't even think he saw me. shhh!

penelope the goat whacking cat

More of Me!!!

2008-03-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

yes i definitely think i should get to take over! can you believe i did something cute AGAIN! i know, it's amazing!!

that's me in the goats hay bucket. i eventually curled up and slept in it. in the pic i'm watching the other cats walk by. i bet they are jealous that i found such a perfect place to sleep and got my picture taken because of it. i know i'm the favorite!

penelope

I'm So Cute

2008-03-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

it's fun not having gerald around to hog the computer. i get to post tons of pictures of me being cute. here i am sleeping with bunnies. i love bunnies!

oh and here i am sleeping in the alfalfa pellet bag. my human about had a heart attack when she reached in and grabbed me instead of the scoop! hahaha

well i better go do some more cute stuff that is picture worthy! maybe i can just take over this place for good. we don't need gerald the majestic dwork!

penelope

My Human Got Banned From GoatTalk.com

2008-03-19T10:50:00.000-07:00

that's right folks, she got banned from that forum for rude disruptive behaviors!! hahaha so here's is how the story goes...........there was someone wanting advice about buying feed and hay etc. for goats. they'd gone to a feed store and left confused. some of the replies are as follows. this is in regards to an employee that gave advice based off of what he'd been told or otherwise.

"He's and idiot, you want alfalfa, remember people working at feed stores and TSC are employees, who may know a lot, or know just enough to be dangerous. No, he's wrong, grass hay is for horses and cows, NOT GOATS! The people buying grass for goats when alfalfa is available just don't know any better!! "

her reply to these puffed ego's was as follows....

"well i guess i'm just a big dumbass cause my goats get bermuda GRASS hay and alfalfa hay is available to me BUT they get alfalfa pellets. furthermore, person doing research, the people at those stores are not idiots, they are uninformed. be nice to them cause they might just find a part you are looking for or know the number of someone local that might just help you one day. no one is an expert and those claiming to be are snobs. you will NEVER hear the same thing in regards to goats, rabbits, chickens, fish, children etc. so take it all in and then decide what best fits you. around here the goat people feed their goats dairy cow feed. i personally wouldn't, but hey, not my goat."

and this too

"one more thing, what i did is found two people i highly respect that have goats. one is my dealer and the other one does things completely different. i get my info from both of them. if i have a concern i email both of them combine their advice and go from there. then it's easier to figure it out rather than having fifty people tell you fifty different things. the end result of that is pattern baldness from pulling out your hair. "

now what is rude and disruptive about that. she could have said what she really thought to the people who put dresses on their goats, let them run around the house, and call them baby girl!! not to mention the general attitude at forums. she posted picture of two rabbits in a tub that had been breeding just to show a pic of my rabbits. some lady was allover her about how she should only leave them together for a certain amount of time and blah, blah, blah!! she was just posting a bloody picture!! some of those people are nut jobs!! of course this is the lady who wanted to charge $500 if she EVER found one of her rabbits you purchase in a shelter!!! cause you know when you buy a $25 dollar rabbit it isn't yours, it's hers.

so anyway that's her getting banned story. oh dear what will she do. she feeds her goats grass hay and she won't have the forum experts to guide her. all of us animals will surely perish!!! hahaha

Chicken With a Cut Throat

2008-03-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

i don't know what is going on around here but my human found a chick with a cut throat. it's still alive(darnit) and my human put neosporin on it with vet wrap. when she returned the chicken to the box it started walking backwards and acting crazy. after getting a video she removed the wrap, reapplied neosporin and put chicken back. i wonder why it did that? does wrapping a chickens neck make it walk backwards. i told her to wrap them all like that and see if we could race them. of course she said no. i also asked if i could eat it since it is injured and of course she said no. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!! just wait lady, i will get revenged!!! the video quality isn't great but it's the best the camera will do.

Yummy Bunny!

2008-03-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

here is another tasty treat we have living here. i bet she tastes yummy!! again, i was told i had to wait till butcher day! i'm tired of waiting. the human said i can't eat her anyway cause she'll be a breeder when she's old enough!! damnit! she is the perfect eating size! i'm so bloody tired of being told no all the time. they get all this live food and then say i can't have it, i have to wait!! the chickens are the perfect size for me. i'm gonna try to sneak in and get one. they will never notice! oh and my paw is pink cause i walked across wet paint.

me getting ready to smack bunny.

me looking at human asking "why?"

penelope

Sometimes I'm Nice

2008-03-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

here i am napping with oswald the deformed cat. his legs are all better but my human discovered that on one side of him he only has half his ribcage. the rest seems to have piled up into a lump of bone. it doesn't seem to bother him though. he's a really sweet boy. i heard the human ask what me and oswald would make!!! what the? no way!! i am not having kitties!! she's crazy!!

here we are sleeping

here i am biting his ear i was trying to play but then i went back to sleep!

penelope

Can I Please Eat Them?

2008-03-17T07:18:00.001-07:00

the human enlarged the chicken home cause the chickens are getting bigger and need more room. i want to eat one soooo bad. the human said i have to wait till they are bigger and on butcher day i will get plenty of chicken parts to eat. i jumped in anyway to practice my hunting skills. i didn't touch them but the human made me get out. she really needs to lighten up!

penelope the chicken craving cat

Geralds Neck Injury

2008-03-13T21:14:00.000-07:00

well here is his slit throat. not a very good picture. can hardly tell because his guts are white too. we think we can operate tomorrow since he is starting to get crabby. that means he's getting his strength back. antonio was released as he was at a save the world rally or something. too bad. the human was sleeping when it happened. we think maybe it was the dogs. but which one? we may never know. the cops won't waste their time on dog saliva tests. maybe i'll build a lab.

penelope