Dog Thievin!!

copyright kristin johnson 1/17/08

last night my human was at a store and mentioned the "basset hound missing" flyer to the cashier. my human told the lady that about six dogs have come up missing in their area. kinda fishy right? oh yes. apparently the cop handling the dog thievin case thinks the dogs were stolen for testing!! there are alot of others missing too. the neighbor down the road accused my human of stealing four yellow lab puppies. now look at the picture, does he look like FOUR six week old YELLOW labs? he tried to scare my human by saying he's a cop. (we think he's just a rent-a-cop at the casino) you should have seen his face when she revealed her dog!! my human told him that he doesn't need to come around accusin' her of stealing. plus she had talked to his wife a week before about the puppies. now why would she steal four puppies. especially since they live about a 3 minute walk away!!!! my human was mad. she still kind of is. plus the way we figure is that if you live in the country, leave your puppies outside free to roam, then yeah, your gonna be missing puppies. maybe we should have told him about predators. although i don't think you can tell that sort anything. they are calling their puppies pure labs. they aren't because the dad of the puppies isn't a lab. just cause you get puppies that look like labs doesn't make them pure lab. maybe we should send them a labrador breeding manual. i'm sure it must mention that the lab must be bred to another lab!!! geesh! i just don't get the humans sometimes.

penelope

see gerald, i can do this without being crazy

From The Desk of Col. Angus

Honestly, son, don't you think it's a little insensitive to bring up an issue like cock fighting on Memorial Day weekend? Think of all the brave cocks and hens that are bravely serving....uh, I mean being served in Iraq and Afghanistan this very second. Don't think that we foul don't know about sacrifice...why, every morning a hen has to loose one of her young to an insurgent's omelet! Yes, sir, we cocks know a thing or two about combat, and I, as a retired officer, take umbrage at your trivialization of such a noble cock tradition. We are proudly known in South Carolina as "The Fighting Cocks," and I don't give a cluck about anyone who says we can't. We can, sir, and will, as long as this country is free and my name is Col. Angus! Gerald and Penelope, thank y'all so much for lettin' me put my two cents in...as for that commie-lovin' moose, well...he ruffles my feathers. BuGOCK!

What the heck?!

you call those stunt doubles?! well moosey is fine but c'mon i'm a large goat and my stunt double is a wee sheep in a gay sweatshirt!!! penelope is gray not orange!! are you freakin color blind? not to mention the picture isn't even centered!!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!! you're goin' down human!!!!

Gerald the not too happy goat