Humans Are Not Very Bright!

this morning my human decided to pour boiling water over her hand. WHY?? now she is in pain with a weeping hand and whining the whole way!! someone tape her mouth shut. i have never known anyone as accident prone as her.

gerald the safe goat

Human Trouble

my human is getting annoying. it started with the beginning of this year. she had to have emergency gallbladder surgery. boohoo. blah! then her face absessed so bad she spent four days in the hospital. boohoo! then she had major dental work. boohoo! oh and she says sleep denistry is a load of poo as she was awaks for the whole thing and it was horrible. boohoo!! you see where im headed i hope. she is nothing but problems. she needs to be exterminated or something. oh and did i mention that last year in october she brought a little monster named phineas home from the hospital. because of him shehas a monster sized incisional hernia that is preexisting and has to stay till it strangulates or time runs out on the preexist part. boohoo! again she is nothing but problems. can't they give her a new body or something? she's been spending more time at the doctors than she does taking care of my special needs ( gourmet treats, carrots, the best goat feed etc.) and i need my hooves trimmed. HELLO HUMAN!!! ME, ME, ME, ME!!! she is so selfish. so what if the pill cabinet looks more like a pharmacy. stop popping pills, junkie, and do your job!!! humans are nothing but trouble.

gerald the hoof rot goat

Planning

well i think im gonna leave pics of penelope up, maybe add some of her classic moments. im not ready to say goodbye since there is no body. antonio is out of here. he was just an irritant anyway. my stunt double is missing so i won't be doing anything too exciting till human gets a new one. so for now ill start changing the look of things i think. we'll see though as im feeling very lazy. all this city life is pretty boring..

gerald the lazy goat

Update

so in the last year, oh lets not update all that. right now we are living in town. the goats are at a friends of our humans and their is a big court mess going on about the country house. someone didn't do the wiring right and all the power went away. so for now i have to live in a neighborhood. i don't like it at all. there are only three rabbits left, one dog, and one cat. hmmm maybe she will take penelopes place. so thats pretty much it. in january the humans are going to look for a new place. my human goes and visits her goats on weekends but is sad about it. she really misses them and the ducks and chickens. they tried to move the birds but they went out to old property and everything was missing. can't talk about what happened on here but not cool at all. so i will reorganize and get this all going again.

gerald the neighborhood goat

The Return of Gerald

i am thinking of coming back. i will have to make some changes cause penelope is gone and antonio died at a protest. i should come back. the people need me. right? oh yes!

gerald the furry wonder

Human Cleans Up After Gerald

gerald will be re-posting his breast cancer post later. i asked him to remove it and think about what he really wanted to say. as we all know gerald often just runs his mouth and makes absolutely no sense. this is in no way an apology. we just feel that it needed some clarification.

human

Biden Smiden

this guy apparently is still stuck in kindergarten. how many times is this guy gonna say "fair"? i bet he was the crybaby in the neighborhood. "mommy, johnny won't let me have his toys", "mommy, johnny has more legos than me so he needs to give me some cause that's fair". poor johnny was probably taught the fair rule too or he would have kicked bidens ass. yeah i made all this up but i hate the word "fair" too. i'm a hater. oh and where is bidens pink ribbon pin? maybe i should send him a pink ribbon shaped bagel.

gerald the hating goat