Christmas Card For Me

got me first christmas card today! my good pals at http://twodevoncats.blogspot.com sent it to me. i dont think ill be receiving any others though cause im a baaa'd goat. i'm so happy they thought of me!

gerald the christmas card getting goat

A Shearing We Will Go

this happened over the summer when my human was house sitting where her goats live temporarily. the owner of the place has this here sheep. its a jacob sheep named jacob. real origional i know. so the sheep is as wild as a pig caught in hot wire but she did manage to catch it. problem is she didn't know how to tie it up in a way to keep its head up. so they wrapped its horns to the milk stand. i was laughing so hard. poor guy. he isn't being hurt at all but it looks awful.

i would like to note that the human has never sheared anything except her legs. so anyway she proceeded to cut off mr. jacobs wool with a pair of scissors, fiskars to be exact. strange practices these humans have and i am grateful i don't have wool. he did pretty good but the human cut his testicle sac and felt pretty awful about it.

above is the finished product.. looks like a whole new sheep! luckily claire at whispering acres helped the human with this project.

gerald the anti shearing goat

The Humans Counterfeit CHI Flatiron Dilema

my human has a situation going on. it involves a CHI flat iron she bought at helmarts (wal mart) smartstyle. it did what it was supposed to do but she decided she didn't like her hair that straight and got a round brush. she then decided to sell the pricey flat iron on ebay. imagine her shock when farouk the chi makers had her auction pulled for counterfiet!!! she fought with them awhile about how it isn't a fake. then she fought with smartstyle and regis who will not refund her money cause its been longer than thirty days(she got it in july of this year). the human thinks in the case of being sold counterfeit trash the return policy shouldn't matter. farouk threatened legal action if she tries to sell the iron but does not care that smartstyle/regis is selling counterfeit irons. does that make any sense? the human also talked to the better business bureau who called it a return policy dispute. huh? so basically its okay for businesses to sell counterfeit products but not for private citizens. the human is very cranky cause she is out $100.

gerald the authentic majestic goat

Snowys Kitten

awhile back snowy had some kids. the human kept the one that looked like her. sounds a little prejudice to me. the others were striped and black. i think the human has something against stripes. anyway this kitten is named zebra cake. i know, i know. origionally one of the human kids named it angel cake then changed it to something else like melody. that didn't work out either. so one night the humans owner called it zebra cake and that just stuck. poor thing. she's nice enough at least, despite how cranky she looks in the picture. i think she had just woke up.

here she is sleeping with her mum. while i may sound like a softy, i happen to think this picture is cute. yes i said cute. shhh!! tell no one i had a weak moment!!

gerald the sometimes sentimental goat

Fiber, A Wooly Epidemic

first the human wanted to spin wool. then for some reason she wanted to try needle felting. now there is fiber showing up here almost daily it seems. first off she ordered colored fiber. then she learned how to take care of raw fiber. discovering this saves her money she buys it raw. this is where things went wrong. she likes, no she loves, this stuff in its natural state. she says you can't reproduce this beauty. so now there is all this raw wool around the place. i can't take two steps without running into a box or baggie of this stuff. now im all for hobbies but collecting animal hair is a bit weird. next it will be human hair, then human parts. i really don't know what to do about her. she needle felted a SHEEP on a t-shirt!!! she said she didn't do a goat cause it was a test thing and sheep are quick. like i believe that. she hasn't felted any goats but there are little sheep bodies in her "fiber tub", oh and a cat. a tuxedo cat in fact. she has spent over a month working on it. craziness. so i think im going to create FLA, Fiber Lovers Annonymous. surely there are others out there living with these oddities.

gerald the fiber free goat

oh i almost forgot, this is all claires fault. she lives at whispering acres but i don't think there is much whispering going on or my human would not have all this fluff everywhere!!

Arse Words

when out with my human i sometimes still see this dreadful style and it got me thinking about the problem the pants can cause. see, as a male when i see a girl wearing these hideous things i get nasty looks from people around me and the girl cause well, im looking at her arse. now you can't tell me that when she picked them out she didn't realize that she has a word on her arse. what do we do with words? we read them, even if they are on your arse, can't help it, my brain wants to read. reading makes me a pervert apparently. sure okay. im more concerned about the person that needs their arse read by all. i especially worry when the pants say" juicy". if you have a juicy arse you might wanna seek out your medicine chest. gross. so see i don't find you appealing when i read your arse. i think i find it scary especially on five year olds. mom, dad, do you really want everyone in town looking at your little girls arse???? just wondering. i'm not even gonna talk about the 300lb and over people wearing their "juicy" pants. so thats my thoughts today. arse words.

gerald the arse reading goat

(but its not because i like you)

Never Fails

every time i say i am back something happens. the cord for the laptop gets broken, the human goes crazy, or in this case the cord got broken again. so i am on an ancient machine that is running windows 2000. the monitor is the old type, a square tatung. i could complain but i won't because at least i can do this. i can't watch movies on netflix but i can check mail and blog.


gerald the majestic 2000 goat