Ending Moosey's Hell

yes, wet moose, there is an end to your hell. it's called a shotgun. i'll even help you. believe me, it is no treat listening to you whine all day outside. rain is scheduled all weekend so i guess you better finish your ark. the creek is up, maybe i'll just drowned your flea bitten hide!!!

penelope

I've Got Fleas!!!!

when i got out of rehab our human said i could stay with them. well, the kids were driving me crazy so i said i was stepping outside for some fresh air. our human said not to cause it was raining; i would get wet and stink. me stink? never! so i went out anyway, got wet, and when i tried to go back in the house she wouldn't let me in. something about muddy hooves and smelling like a horses bum. she said i had to stay outside until i was dry and smelt better. I'VE BEEN OUTSIDE FOR FOUR DAYS!!!! i can't dry when it never stops raining. yesterday i started itching. penelope had a look at me and said i've got fleas. now i'm stuck outside till the human gets me something for the fleas. she said i could sleep in the shed if i got scared on the porch. sleep in a shed?! i don't think so. now penelopes kids are driving me crazy. is there no end to this hell?

moosey

Hello Ethanol, Goodbye Food! (aka china help us we're starving)

not too long ago, at our sunday meeting with the human, i had expressed a concern that using ethanol might raise the prices of things. less corn for feed means more expensive meat, etc. so we are basically going to be filling our cars with what would have been our eventual food. a couple weeks after i mentioned that, the world news was stating just that. everything has gone up. i thought the atkins era was bad. just wait and see what's coming. can you just imagine using every corn crop for fuel. we'll have to go begging china for food. "china help us. we got so caught up in saving the planet we forgot about saving ourselves. we don't care if everything you give us is contaminated. just please feed us." news headlines will read, "Famine in America", "China Feeds America, Millions Die", "Death Tolls Rise After Ethanol Scam", "Earth Loving Fools Destroy U.S." okay i'll stop. seriously though, DRILL FOR OIL!!!! the earth made it for us to put in our cars. drill everywhere there is oil. we don't have an oil addiction, we have an idiot addiction. tell all those stupid hippies to pack up their dawn dish soap, head to the beaches, and just wait for the greasy animals to wash up. yes that's right! WE'RE USING OUR NATURAL FREAKIN RESOURCES!!!!! FOSSIL FREAKIN FUELS BABY!!! HELL YEAH! when we're done we'll toast with glasses full of oil. hey PETA!! oil tastes like sweet success, oh and ya missed a spot on that seagull over there.

gerald the oily goat

Health care for all, and to all an expensive pizza!!

what does a pricy pizza have to do with socialized healthcare? if we decide to become socialists then the price of EVERYTHING will go up. but that's okay in three years i can have my broken leg taken care of by a physician of michael moore's choosing. i agree insurance companies are jerks but turning our republic into the demoncrats haven is not the solution. do i have a solution? sort of. stop getting insurance. put them out of business. power of the people, not power of the government. do you really think your government gives a rats ass about your cancer when your 70? heck no! they will let it eat you alive. yeah your insurance company might do the same thing but at least you get to die knowing it wasn't hillary, or that osama obama bobama guy, who did you in. you poor poor people, only your all powerful government can save you. conform or die. you boneheads. we rank 37 on the healthcare crap list sooooooooo all of you who want healthcare and expensive pizza can pick a country, 1-36, denounce your american citizenship, and get out. oh and take rosy o'scary with you. oh and to correct that michael bore guy who said we don't pay for schools and fire departments well he obviously doesn't know where his tax dollars go! maybe he isn't even paying taxes. so i leave you with my goat rant. i will go set the bone in my leg and dip gauze in plaster of paris for my cast. i'm sure i can find some wild plants to chew on for the pain.

gerald "his own doctor"

Gerald's Stunt Double!!

ok gerald, here is your stunt double. he's a little camera shy but after being here a few days he's calmed down.

your human

Moosey Free!!!

yes folks, moosey is out. no more rehab. i think he'll relapse, wreck his car, and go to the big house! i'd like to say glad to have him back but i've enjoyed the peace. i'm sure everyone feels the same. who knows? maybe he'll come back a changed moose.

gerald

Gerald's Stunt Double!!

yes that's right!! gerald i have your stunt double. you don't deserve it but i couldn't resist. he looks just like you. i think you will be pleased. i'll post a pic of him in the afternoon!

your human