PBS Kids- PROGRAMMING Your Children

want to raise a bunch of little rosie's, bono's, gore's, clinton's etc. then just set your little brat in front of the tube with pbs kids and you'll have it in no time. i couldn't decide which shows were the worst. after careful examination and interviewing the humans children i have chosen three; caillou (we call it kayak), it's a big, big world (it's a big gay world), and super why (super what the hell). now as far as big gay world goes, there are no spirits in the trees, any child that believes that should be shot on spot along with their parents for letting them believe it. this show is a big promoter of earth day, hug the spirit in the tree, save a tree day blah blah blah. be nice to trees. okay i'll be nice. chainsaw ready. oh look i have preserved the tree forever in the form of a shelter for my family!! thank you mighty spirit!!! haha

okay now for caillou. first off this show is great if you want to raise a bunch of whiny sissys. the kid needs his ass beat!!! the narrator always says, "caillou was very disappointed". his parents cater to this little brat, oh, and he's bald. the kid is 4 and he has no hair!!!! i never see him go to chemo treatments so where's his freakin hair!!! all the kid does is whine, whine, whine. the humans son wants to rewrite the show in ways that caillou gets blown up and such!! hahaha i think it's a fine idea.

super why is terrible in it's own sick way. they take stories we all know, boy who cried wolf, little red riding hood etc. and make them nice. the boy doesn't get eaten by the wolf, it's his friend. i think little red riding hood shares her cookies with the wolf. it goes on and on warping perfectly fine tragic endings. there is no lesson involved except sharing. oh and they teach kids how to talk to their parents. these little super heroes rush to the rescue to ruin the story. as i said, super what the hell.

i feel sorry for the children that aren't making fun of this crap. below i have changed the lyrics to caillou to tell the truth about the little brat.

i'm just a kid whose four

i want to be al gore

i like exploring

i'm kayak

so many men to woo

each day it's someone new

i'll share them with you

i'm kayak

my world is turning

changing each day

with mommy and daddy

i'm finding i'm gay

growing up is not so tough

i dress like hillary duff

i like to wear pink stuff

i'm kayak

there that's so much better

gerald the pbs kids hating goat

Going Green (aka going crazy)

Go green! i'm so tired of hearing about going green. i'm starting the "go brown" crusade. don't get me wrong, i don't think littering is good or dumping hazardous waste in ponds should be a sport. i do think the "go green" agenda is all about money. all the stuff they want you to change would cost a fortune for the normal animal to implement. sure watering your lawn with gray water sounds neat but you can't do it if you use oh i don't know, tide, joy, dial, downy etc. nooooo you have to buy the expensive stuff that won't hurt the grass. i watched an hour of green on pbs over the weekend and when i got done hearing about thanking mother earth i felt the need to take a very long hot shower, wash a load of whites on hot with lots of bleach, and kick mother earth in the arse! hey i'd love solar panels, not to save the earth, but to cut down on my bills. but quite honestly i just don't have the green to invest. i don't have central h/a so i guess i'm helping a cat or something somewhere. oh wait i negate that by running forty fans and a very, very old window a/c in the summer. did you hear that? i think i just heard a tree hugging, mother earth fanatic start to cry. maybe i can be charged with crimes against nature. i can be called an enviromental terrorist. maybe even rosie will talk about me on the view!

gerald the mother earth hating goat

can't find a topic

i've been racking my small goat brain all day for a post and i've got nothing. actually i've got alot to say but can't decide on one thing. i'm tired of global warming. lastnight it was the penguins. apparently global warming is making the babies stupid cause they can't find food. that really wasn't what they said exactly but i like it better. Just in!!! Global Warming Causes Stupidity!! well that would surely explain alot mr. gore. on the world news i found out i'm to blame for the bad pollen. gee i thought my allergies were genetic. i read alot about child protective services and families today. that just pissed me off. oh and then there's that rosie. of the four of those view chickies she is the worst but what about joy behar(sp?)? some days i can't decide who i want to stop the oxygen flow to first. perhaps just my big furry hooves in their big loud mouths. no war, no war........ i guess we could go back in time and never have war and see what we would end up with now. yes rosie, i'll get out my history eraser and erase all the wars just for you. somehow rosie, i don't think hitler would have stopped at the jews. well folks thats all for today.

gerald the bored goat