global warming B.S.

in brussels, belgium the region of wallonia has approved a tax on barbecuing. residents will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling season. meanwhile helicopters will be flying over peoples backyards to see if they are barbecuing and if they paid the tax to be able to do so. helicopters? you've got to be kidding! don't helicopters use fuel and in turn pollute the environment? well at least we're not the only country losing our minds in all this global warming b.s. in an effort to show my annoyance at all of this b.s. i plan to barbecue every bloody day for the next five years. hell i'll even barbecue green beans. maybe a penguin or two. check out my footprint! it's HUGE!!!! speaking of penguins.......why is everyone so panicked about the decline? last i checked it isn't a major food source for humans. i'd like to try it though. what else? oh yeah san franfreako is banning plastic bags. crap! does this mean all the trees are going to start crying again? "don't cut us down, it hurts." chainsaw ready! now the proper thing to do here is tell you where i read all this stuff. do the foot work yourself puppies, i gotta go fire up my barbecue and catch some penguins.
gerald
penguins taste like chicken

can't find a topic

i've been racking my small goat brain all day for a post and i've got nothing. actually i've got alot to say but can't decide on one thing. i'm tired of global warming. lastnight it was the penguins. apparently global warming is making the babies stupid cause they can't find food. that really wasn't what they said exactly but i like it better. Just in!!! Global Warming Causes Stupidity!! well that would surely explain alot mr. gore. on the world news i found out i'm to blame for the bad pollen. gee i thought my allergies were genetic. i read alot about child protective services and families today. that just pissed me off. oh and then there's that rosie. of the four of those view chickies she is the worst but what about joy behar(sp?)? some days i can't decide who i want to stop the oxygen flow to first. perhaps just my big furry hooves in their big loud mouths. no war, no war........ i guess we could go back in time and never have war and see what we would end up with now. yes rosie, i'll get out my history eraser and erase all the wars just for you. somehow rosie, i don't think hitler would have stopped at the jews. well folks thats all for today.

gerald the bored goat

The rights of animals

dear animals,

here are your rights.

you have the right to be eaten if i'm hungry
you have the right to move if i build my house in your woods
you have the right to dishsoap if i spill oil on you
you have the right to eat what you want, but if you dig in my trash you will be sorry
you have the right to stand in the middle of the road, but i might hit you and eat you
you have the right to be cute but i'll still eat you
you have the right to be ugly and still be eaten(ugly animals have rights too)

from the human