Fiber, A Wooly Epidemic

first the human wanted to spin wool. then for some reason she wanted to try needle felting. now there is fiber showing up here almost daily it seems. first off she ordered colored fiber. then she learned how to take care of raw fiber. discovering this saves her money she buys it raw. this is where things went wrong. she likes, no she loves, this stuff in its natural state. she says you can't reproduce this beauty. so now there is all this raw wool around the place. i can't take two steps without running into a box or baggie of this stuff. now im all for hobbies but collecting animal hair is a bit weird. next it will be human hair, then human parts. i really don't know what to do about her. she needle felted a SHEEP on a t-shirt!!! she said she didn't do a goat cause it was a test thing and sheep are quick. like i believe that. she hasn't felted any goats but there are little sheep bodies in her "fiber tub", oh and a cat. a tuxedo cat in fact. she has spent over a month working on it. craziness. so i think im going to create FLA, Fiber Lovers Annonymous. surely there are others out there living with these oddities.

gerald the fiber free goat

oh i almost forgot, this is all claires fault. she lives at whispering acres but i don't think there is much whispering going on or my human would not have all this fluff everywhere!!

Arse Words

when out with my human i sometimes still see this dreadful style and it got me thinking about the problem the pants can cause. see, as a male when i see a girl wearing these hideous things i get nasty looks from people around me and the girl cause well, im looking at her arse. now you can't tell me that when she picked them out she didn't realize that she has a word on her arse. what do we do with words? we read them, even if they are on your arse, can't help it, my brain wants to read. reading makes me a pervert apparently. sure okay. im more concerned about the person that needs their arse read by all. i especially worry when the pants say" juicy". if you have a juicy arse you might wanna seek out your medicine chest. gross. so see i don't find you appealing when i read your arse. i think i find it scary especially on five year olds. mom, dad, do you really want everyone in town looking at your little girls arse???? just wondering. i'm not even gonna talk about the 300lb and over people wearing their "juicy" pants. so thats my thoughts today. arse words.

gerald the arse reading goat

(but its not because i like you)

Never Fails

every time i say i am back something happens. the cord for the laptop gets broken, the human goes crazy, or in this case the cord got broken again. so i am on an ancient machine that is running windows 2000. the monitor is the old type, a square tatung. i could complain but i won't because at least i can do this. i can't watch movies on netflix but i can check mail and blog.


gerald the majestic 2000 goat

Silly Goats

my human went out to her friends last weekend to visit her goats and milk some manchas. when she arrived all the kids had gotten out and were running everywhere. this guy had apparently been looking for a snack. its alot funnier when they get the pumpkin buckets on their head cause then it is like the headless goatman.

gerald the majestic goat

Good To Be Back

yes folks, it's true, i have finally returned. see the human went completely loco cause the doc gave her some pill that is supposed to help pain. alls it did was help her cry and yell alot. she was like that for two months until she finally cracked. you should have been there. it was so funny. ah but anyway this is about me, not the mental patient. you can see from the picture above that my stunt double finally arrived. boy he sure is handsome and of the best quality. i've been having him do all sorts of exciting things to perk this blog up and i can't wait to show you all. i did have to get rid of the other stunt double. he had an accident in the kitchen. guess he fell and snapped his neck. oops. well those things happen. i will now go but don't worry im here for awhile again. i do need to catch up on all of my great friends that i have missed so very much. good to see you.

gerald the "back in black" goat

Where Am I??

i'm sure you all have been wondering where my majestic self has been. i've taken on nursing apparently. the humans have been non stop sick for two months. not just one or two of them either. all seven of them. so i have to take care of them. im not even getting paid!! my human has helped a little when she can but she's pretty useless to be quite honest. she did make it to the goat farm a couple times to see her kids of the season. ill post some pictures soon cause they are beautiful. lots of blue eyes this year. i guess thats a big deal. i don't really think so though. i think they look a little creeeeepy. horror show goats. okay well i have to go make tea for the humans throat. i hope you all are well and ill be back soon, i hope.

gerald the nurse goat

Im Back!

i was kidnapped by franks cousin. apparently he had a problem with frank and his herd living with goats. perseus and snowy found me locked in a feed closet of an abandoned barn. franks cousin is a jerk. franks cousin is dead. perseus killed him and ate him. so im recovering at home and the human is being very nice to me again. i did eat her laptop cord and she is a little urked since it will be the fourth one in under a year she has had to replace. good to be home and i will catch up with all of you as time allows.

gerald the rescued goat