The Mountain Goats

 
                                                      john darnielle of the mountain goats

  when i was reading about the killer goat lawsuit i stumbled upon a folk rock band called the mountain goats. they do not suck, which of course is obvious based off the title of the band alone. any band called the mountain goats is sure to be fabulous. what they really need; however, is me. i dont have to sing or play an instrument, i just need to be on stage being majestic. i believe i could really boost the popularity of this band by my presence alone. i mean no offense to the john darnielle up there but he's just not very goaty or majestic. i can be majestically folky. it would be splendid!

gerald the folky majestic goat

When Goats Attack

 seems unheard of, i know. while browsing photos of the handsome species that i am, i came across a story about a goat that killed a man. this story is old and there was a lawsuit to have the goat killed. i dont think a goat should die because stupid humans insist on mixing with us. sure we can be a dangerous lot but lions, tigers and bears, oh my, are dangerous and we aren't hunting down every single one of them. the fact remains that humans are dumb and animals always pay the price. bob boardman is dead and killing my kin is not going to bring him back. the park that klahhane billy(pfft, dumb name given by humans) lived in once decided it had too many of us living there. so they flew many of us back to our  native home but were going to shoot the ones leftover because they determined flying us was too dangerous. i think perhaps humans are too dangerous. they created the goat problem and their solution to too many of us is death. i think we should be able to overrun the world. if you would like to read this story then go here... http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/dailyweekly/2011/11/lawsuit_klahhane_billy_monstro.php

gerald the anti goat killing goat
sorry this post is rather rushed, im a busy boy today

Back in White, Again

yeah, yeah, where the hell have i been. i'm not even sure. i think the human put me in a coma or something so i'd shut up. alas i am truly back. i hope. i missed my fans. i missed my friends. i will try to visit all of you over the next few days. i will also try to blog about something worthy of my greatness.

gerald the great majestic goat

Beautiful Snowy

i thought you could use a break from sheep and that lunatic goat so im going to tell you about how fabulous i am. first lets look at me.

first notice that the human has not taken care of the "good camera problem". second notice all my lovely points. third would be my beautiful blue eyes but the good camera is not working. gerald is jealous of how lovely i am and so is perseus. im the only animal here with blue eyes. that alone makes me...um... shall we say... majestic! see he isn't the only majestic animal. plus he isn't majestic. he is a goof. so let me show you how cute i look when i roll around on the floor.

im trying to kill the evil brown dog lucy. she won't leave me alone. everytime i come in she jumps on me and wants to play. that gets my fur wet and ugly so i bite her and jump on her. she is dumb also as she won't stop trying to play. oh well im not afraid of dogs. i chased the neighbors dog the other day. it ran up on the porch it was so scared! so back to my beauty. i am very soft and the human loves to pet me. even the humans owner loves me and he isn't that into animals. my human feeds me very well. i do miss the goat milk she used to give me though. i am good at getting rid of mice. i've gotten three here and now the humans love me even more. yes i am fabulous. i am pleased to finally get to address all of you. if you love me send me temptations and catnip.

snowy the most majestic animal

just a note: a four year old named me when i was born. i was all white so i figure she didn't know i would not look like snow later on.

Snowys Photo Has Arrived

yes the lazy human finally did it. snowy does not like having her photo taken so it took the human about ten minutes to get anything even close to presentable. sadly this picture does not capture her blue eyes or her beautiful points. oh well im going to tell her that our job as beautiful animals is to be seen and admired. i mean when you window shop you don't want to see just the sleeve of the shirt, you want the whole shirt. we want the whole cat! so anyway, she will be speaking on here sometime soon so she can tell everyone about her. i put in a good word for those lovely cats, eric and flynn, so she is looking forward to meeting them.

gerald the motivational goat

Tattoos and My Growing Popularity

as fabulous as the tattoo is, and as fabulous as a gesture it was. i have no plans of putting her anywhere on my gorgeous hide. she of course understands that i must remain flawless. i have heard that a couple of people are wimps and would not get a tattoo. i personally think that all humans should permanently inscribe a portrait of me or some other beautiful animal on their flesh. the human said it does hurt but after awhile you don't care. so see whats holding you back? a couple of fabulous felines on your arms or any animal you love is a great thing to put on your flesh. you humans don't think twice about branding us,tagging us, or tattooing us so it is only right that you experience it too. let us mark you for the world to know who you belong to.

next piece of business is my growing popularity. okay i know im not real popular right now but claire from whispering acres(her link is on the page) mentioned me a few times in a post. so i figure with all the readers she has they will be curious as to who this great majestic goat is she speaks of. then they will come running here and be mesmerized by my majestic charm.

gerald the majestically charming goat