Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Mountain Goats

                                                      john darnielle of the mountain goats

  when i was reading about the killer goat lawsuit i stumbled upon a folk rock band called the mountain goats. they do not suck, which of course is obvious based off the title of the band alone. any band called the mountain goats is sure to be fabulous. what they really need; however, is me. i dont have to sing or play an instrument, i just need to be on stage being majestic. i believe i could really boost the popularity of this band by my presence alone. i mean no offense to the john darnielle up there but he's just not very goaty or majestic. i can be majestically folky. it would be splendid!

gerald the folky majestic goat

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

When Goats Attack

 seems unheard of, i know. while browsing photos of the handsome species that i am, i came across a story about a goat that killed a man. this story is old and there was a lawsuit to have the goat killed. i dont think a goat should die because stupid humans insist on mixing with us. sure we can be a dangerous lot but lions, tigers and bears, oh my, are dangerous and we aren't hunting down every single one of them. the fact remains that humans are dumb and animals always pay the price. bob boardman is dead and killing my kin is not going to bring him back. the park that klahhane billy(pfft, dumb name given by humans) lived in once decided it had too many of us living there. so they flew many of us back to our  native home but were going to shoot the ones leftover because they determined flying us was too dangerous. i think perhaps humans are too dangerous. they created the goat problem and their solution to too many of us is death. i think we should be able to overrun the world. if you would like to read this story then go here...

gerald the anti goat killing goat
sorry this post is rather rushed, im a busy boy today

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Back in White, Again

yeah, yeah, where the hell have i been. i'm not even sure. i think the human put me in a coma or something so i'd shut up. alas i am truly back. i hope. i missed my fans. i missed my friends. i will try to visit all of you over the next few days. i will also try to blog about something worthy of my greatness.

gerald the great majestic goat

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Back in White

Yes, thats right, i have returned from the depths of amish land; or at least it felt like that. the human bled alot, then a baby came but stayed at the hospital, then it came home, and then finally after seven months i matter. hmmmm, thinking i should have stayed the most important thing but i guess i'll get over it. anyhoo let me just find out whats going on with my friends, the world and everything in between and then i will resurect my greatness!!

gerald the fantastic goat

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

osama bin laden

well whether he is alive, dead recently, or an old rotting corpse i must say this reeks of conspiracy of some kind. i kinda think the timing, being during obamas presidency, is the main part of the conspiracy. how convenient that the biggest doof be in presidency when this ass is killed. he doesn't deserve credit for this. even if it is true. the men that coordinate, strategize and go in and do the deed are the ones that deserve recognition. i can see him stroking his ego now. makes me ill. i'd puke if i could.

now if this is true then cool. but obama has no place in something he never started and wanted nothing to with. at re-election time he'll remind us all how fabulous he thinks he is. gag. so thats really all i have to say about this topic.

to sum it up, its a bunch of RUBBISH in some form or the other. ,

and yes i basically repeated myself in the second part using different words, redundant.

gerald the bad blogging goat

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

William S. Burroughs, Influential?

i watched a special on pbs(liberal t.v.) lastnight about this guy. i am near appalled that people found this gun toting drunk druggie influential. sure perhaps if you want to use him in gun safety class on what not to do with your gun. he was the naked lunch guy. my human said she watched it but her mind blanks on it. i mean seriously this guy would have been into little boys had the law allowed and who knows what he got away with in other countries. its stuff like this that shows just how backwards this country is. he accidently shot his wife in the forehead cause she had some splendid idea for him to shoot a glass off her head. then there is his shotgun art. shooting a spray paint can and calling the splatter on wood art is rubbish! takes alot of talent to fire a gun at spray paint. his followers are the expected american hating usuals. the only thing this guy said i agreed with was how he didn't get why when there was a shooting spree they want to disarm the ones who didn't do it. he also said something about how he didn't like the idea of only the military and government having guns. im not quoting him on any of this just trying to get the point across on his gun beliefs cause i dont remember exactly what he said. as far as his friends go he had plenty cause the party was always at his house. he got the best drugs, probably bought all the booze and ammo was on him. party on dude! nothing like a mix of drugs, booze and guns. sounds more like some low life gang. influential? hardly. unless you like your heroine mixed with rum and coke and a side of bullet in your skull. rubbish!
let the hate begin
gerald the influential goat

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas Card For Me

got me first christmas card today! my good pals at sent it to me. i dont think ill be receiving any others though cause im a baaa'd goat. i'm so happy they thought of me!
gerald the christmas card getting goat