Wednesday, July 16, 2008


my human is kid-sitting

sure they look cute and innocent don't they? see that little one in the front with those creepy blue eyes. well i am certain she is a terroist. i know, i know, she's just a little thing but she is pure evil!! it's true, i've seen her in action. now the big guy in the back isn't so bad except when the little girl is out and then it's like having ten toddlers in one room. they run, they jump, they eat magazines, they eat hair, and they chew on me too. i have got to take a vacation. it get's worse though. the kids need milk so my human said these two other goats could come over too. oh goody, more girls for me!! WRONG!! do you notice anything wrong with them?

THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EARS!!!! this is no accident folks. they are la manchas. my human didn't tell me they wouldn't have ears. when i went outside i started screaming and ran back in the house. i thought they'd been in some freak accident or some strange experiment. no, no, no. they are supposed to be that way!!! i must say i am afraid of them. my human said they are very nice and gentle but i'm not going near them. i can hardly look at them. in fact i'm not leaving the house until they are gone. this just isn't natural. even worse is my human is talking about maybe getting one next year. i told her, no way!! goats are supposed to have ears, the longer the better. i just can't understand why she would want those freaks living here.

gerald the eared goat


well the human has been waiting and waiting and it finally happened. her b-day egg hatched. cute little thing once it dried. maybe the incubator wasn't such a bad idea. she built a hatcher for them to go into to hatch and i must say, please, someone, teach her how to build stuff. the hatcher is scary. she uses duct tape like a man. i'm suprised she hasn't built a home out of the stuff. she has even taped my mouth shut with it before. it took me a month to grow my fur back!! well anyway here is the new addition to the chicken project.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Tidbits from Penelope

time for some serious issues.

obama is the next messiah. are you laughing? well you should be. my human heard that people are calling him the messiah. well we now have proof that some americans are truly insane and do indeed need all those anti-pyschotic drugs that everyone is pushing. please locate these believers and give them drugs.

"pay it forward" or your an ass! i sure am tired of all these public displays of kindness. i think we've mentioned this before but running through the streets and going on t.v. telling everyone how great you are because you pay it forward is not right. shhhhh. it's supposed to be a quiet thing, not a big deal. now you can get airtime on oprah for doing something for someone else. worse is that these people are trying to make everyone else feel bad if they aren't busting their ass for others. giving and doing for others is a personal thing. in most people it is already built in. we don't need the media telling us to do it or making us feeling bad if we aren't. sometimes just smiling at someone is giving back. oh and did i mention i don't care for the title "pay it forward". can't stand it! on a forum recently someone said it should be mandatory for people to watch some movie(i think) called "pay it forward"(cringe). mandatory? oh sure next we'll be fined for not paying it forward. there will be a "p.i.f." police who will track everyone to make sure they are giving back. if not you will have to go to a course on paying it forward. somehow i think this attention and pressure on people to do this takes away from the heart which is supposed to be the important part. next we'll have people going on talk shows for help because they can't say "no" to anyone. there will be marital problems because women(the usual culprit behind this crap) are neglecting their families more than ever. "i just didn't have time for them because i was saving the world" "i know johnny needs to go to the doctor for his cancer but mrs. jones needed her hedges trimmed and her poodle washed" "i know we need to eat but the people down the road need food too so we are just going to have to starve" it's foolishness and just plain dangerous. especially in the hands of oprah. stop telling us that we need to pay it forward. now i know there are stories in the bible about giving away the last of your oil and god providing for you because you helped people but i'm sure there are passages in the bible about being foolish. again though it's a heart thing however women are usually controlled by their hearts and without supervision they could really mess stuff up. "i'm addicted to giving" aren't i great!" "look at me, look at me, i'm so important!"

gas prices got you down? kill the earth day freaks.

the economy is going to hell and we're all going to die. "i can't get my morning breakfast at mcdonalds, things are sooooo bad" "prices are going up on everything and we will all starve if we can't get those frozen pizzas for dinner" learn to bloody cook you pathetic thing! better yet free range some chickens on your lawn and you'll have eggs and meat right in your yard. yeah i know, you can't kill animals. animals are people too. "i could never butcher anything" yes you can you just aren't hungry enough yet. people need to stop whining and crying to the politicians and help themselves. obama isn't going to feed you or save the economy. obama isn't going to bring gas prices down for you. oh sure they might but they want to take over the oil business so they can CONTROL it. no thanks, i'll take the high prices over communism anyday. people panic too easy. the worst thing people can do when the economy is bad is to go to your government wanting them to fix everything. oh sure they'll fix it but when it is all said and done, when you can get your morning breakfast at the drive thru, you will find that the government will tell you what you can eat for breakfast. so please people, just adjust.
penelope the cat who helps herself

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

She's At It Again!!

sometimes living in this house is hell. my human is always trying to find ways to save money. her newest adventure involved making laundry soap and dishwasher soap. great, right? no it's not great! i had to make it! she said i need to start pulling my weight around here and it wouldn't kill me to help her out with some stuff. apparently my handsome presence isn't enough for her! so here i am making laundry soap. the grating was hell cause she only had a tiny grater. someone please send this woman a large grater. although my hooves did get a much needed trimming my legs were very tired and she wouldn't let me stop!! next i had to put the grated soap and the powders in a pan and boil till they dissolved. it's hot in here, the last thing i want to do is be close to a boiling pot! i even heard her say if i didn't stop complaining she'd push me in!!! unbelievable! today i'm getting a bath in the stuff cause i'm dirty. i am also the test subject to see if the stuff works. gee, couldn't she use the clothes? what if the stuff eats my fur off? or worse my beautiful horns. hopefully i'll post after my bath, unless i'm dead.

oh and it didn't gel up right and she blamed me! i just followed the recipe. the dishwasher soap worked really well though so she was pleased with that. she has me researching how to fix the laundry soap and i have until noon to find a solution. i don't know what happens at noon if i don't have one but i imagine she'll have me do more work. i might need a vacation after this.

gerald the soap making goat