Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Mountain Goats

                                                      john darnielle of the mountain goats

  when i was reading about the killer goat lawsuit i stumbled upon a folk rock band called the mountain goats. they do not suck, which of course is obvious based off the title of the band alone. any band called the mountain goats is sure to be fabulous. what they really need; however, is me. i dont have to sing or play an instrument, i just need to be on stage being majestic. i believe i could really boost the popularity of this band by my presence alone. i mean no offense to the john darnielle up there but he's just not very goaty or majestic. i can be majestically folky. it would be splendid!

gerald the folky majestic goat

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

When Goats Attack

 seems unheard of, i know. while browsing photos of the handsome species that i am, i came across a story about a goat that killed a man. this story is old and there was a lawsuit to have the goat killed. i dont think a goat should die because stupid humans insist on mixing with us. sure we can be a dangerous lot but lions, tigers and bears, oh my, are dangerous and we aren't hunting down every single one of them. the fact remains that humans are dumb and animals always pay the price. bob boardman is dead and killing my kin is not going to bring him back. the park that klahhane billy(pfft, dumb name given by humans) lived in once decided it had too many of us living there. so they flew many of us back to our  native home but were going to shoot the ones leftover because they determined flying us was too dangerous. i think perhaps humans are too dangerous. they created the goat problem and their solution to too many of us is death. i think we should be able to overrun the world. if you would like to read this story then go here...

gerald the anti goat killing goat
sorry this post is rather rushed, im a busy boy today

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Back in White, Again

yeah, yeah, where the hell have i been. i'm not even sure. i think the human put me in a coma or something so i'd shut up. alas i am truly back. i hope. i missed my fans. i missed my friends. i will try to visit all of you over the next few days. i will also try to blog about something worthy of my greatness.

gerald the great majestic goat