Friday, October 3, 2008

Human Cleans Up After Gerald

gerald will be re-posting his breast cancer post later. i asked him to remove it and think about what he really wanted to say. as we all know gerald often just runs his mouth and makes absolutely no sense. this is in no way an apology. we just feel that it needed some clarification.


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Biden Smiden

this guy apparently is still stuck in kindergarten. how many times is this guy gonna say "fair"? i bet he was the crybaby in the neighborhood. "mommy, johnny won't let me have his toys", "mommy, johnny has more legos than me so he needs to give me some cause that's fair". poor johnny was probably taught the fair rule too or he would have kicked bidens ass. yeah i made all this up but i hate the word "fair" too. i'm a hater. oh and where is bidens pink ribbon pin? maybe i should send him a pink ribbon shaped bagel.

gerald the hating goat

Friday, September 26, 2008

On the News Tonight

i don't really watch the news but i did tonight. i watched the local news. did you know that if you want to put an obama baloma sign in your front yard the democratic party will charge you five dollars!!! hahahahahaha mccain signs are free but obama needs your money for his national healthcare program i guess. now i thought the democrats were all about giving handouts and whining about all the suffering going on in the country. oh sure, as long as it doesn't come out of their pockets. sound like a bit of a contradiction? yeah i thought so too.
gerald the news watching goat

Thursday, September 18, 2008


there have been alot of talk on the forums lately about how fema sucks. what is wrong with people? it isn't fema's fault that people live where hurricanes happen. why do the people need the government to come and save their asses? fema is a perk of a country completely dependant on it's government to make everything okay again. if i'm right it wasn't so long ago that there was no electricity. since 9/11 there have been a million places with lists of what to have on hand in case of a disaster or attack. one of the important things on the list is water. yep WATER!! doesn't it make sense if you live in a disaster zone that you should have stuff put away? i think so. but i guess it's much easier to not prepare and blame the government when you don't want to blame your own stupidity. now our humans were not prepared for either of their natural disasters. the first one, sure they got cranky, but my human made a stove from candles and they ate cheeseburgers and fried egg sammies so the stuff didn't go bad the first day without power. had they been smart they would have had non perishables and water saved up but they weren't smart. my human has an ice storm under her belt too and that is much easier to handle than the hurricanes and floods. at least you can keep stuff cold. it does get very irritating not having luxuries such as electricity and running water but with some simple preparation you don't need to get angry at the government for not saving your ass every time the wind blows too hard. now i understand the elderly and handicapped can't do this but if people are soooooo worried about them then why aren't they stocking up for them too. in the old days people helped people not the government. so here are my tips for the next time you find yourself living through a natrual disaster.........

shut up and quit whining, it is not the governments fault you aren't prepared

everytime you empty a 2 liter bottle or other plastic container with a lid fill it with water and add a couple drops of bleach, replace lid and put away, it stays good for a long time

everytime you go to the store buy some extra canned stuff and put it away somewhere else

buy candles and hurricane lamps and put those away too

remember to depend on yourself as you are the only one that can take care of yourself and your family

shut up and quit whining

first aid stuff should be put up too

if you live where an ice storm could affect you then saving up scraps of wood and such in a pile might be good idea to build a fire outside with to cook or keep you warm

if you don't like that option candles placed under a frying pan that are elevated by those canned goods makes a fine stove, you can use this if you don't live in a cold area too, cooking can take a little longer or faster depending on the size candles you use, my human prefers smaller candles cause it is possible to burn things, if you are really creative then the possibilities are endless for what can be used to make a homemade stove

remember that there is no one to blame, except maybe yourself for living where you live, so don't start bitching about fema not coming to your door with presents

you will feel alot better about yourself if you do this all yourself, really you will

don't gorge yourself on all your stored food the first day, use what is in your fridge and freezer asap so you at least have some decent food the first day, it will definitely help your mood

flashlights are a nice touch for nighttime when you go to bed, there is nothing as dark as an entire city without power and the moon isn't out, it can be very overwhelming to not be able to see your hand in front of your face, if you really can't stand it then those floating candles are great cause a bowl of water is less likely to catch fire

baby wipes are good to have on hand for wiping your smelly body with, don't waste water if you don't have to, so get alot of them, fema will not be providing you with a hot bath

bathroom? yeah we haven't come up with much for that besides using a bag or digging a hole outside, keep your waste outside though

this is a good time to wish you had chickens and rabbits but if you don't then just know i will be enjoying meat while you are eating canned ravioli and tuna

don't wait to prepare for this mess a month before disaster season, it's best to start all of this now. next year or the year after you might need it and you will be glad the goat told you so.

oh i almost forgot, if you have small kids they will be bored and drive you nuts only adding to your stress and desire to blame the government. you can put them up for adoption or if you prepared you will have some stuff put away that they haven't ever played with before. magna doodles, coloring books (dover makes some cool ones), crayons, markers, games etc. will keep them occupied for a little while. johnny and susie will still drive you nuts because they can't watch t.v. and play nintendo so just spank them and tell them to shut up or you will put them up for adoption. times like these will also let you know just how spoiled and ungrateful your kids truly are and might be a good time to reevaluate your parenting. the less whining you do the better you will look to them. their attitude will reflect your attitude so if your attitude sucks and you blame the government then they will grow up the same way. nothing like a bunch of whiny adults and children in the same room so maybe you should have yourself rehomed to the asylum.

there are a ton of other things to add to this list but it isn't my responsibility. if you are too dumb to figure it all out then the asylum is the best place for you, not on t.v. crying and cussing about how the government failed you. the most important thing to remember is that IT IS NOT FEMAS FAULT you are too retarded to plan ahead.

gerald the prepared goat

Of Mice and Moles

our human doesn't really have a problem with mice. she expects that living in the country there will be mice on occasion that get in. the first one was spotted in the bedroom and then one was peaking out at her from behind the stove. she can hear them scurry around in the vents. the cats can hear them too. penelope had spent two days in the kitchen staring under the stove only to have a kitten catch the thing. the humans owner was very proud of the kitten. i think penelope was a little ticked about it though. some cat also caught the other one but the only evidence was a little tail laying on the floor. the humans four year old promptly picked it up and began chasing the other children around the house with it. strange kid and yes she washed her hands when she was done making the girls scream. did i say the kid was strange. she must get it from our human. our human was a sick little kid too. when her sisters parakeet died it was placed in a paper bag. my human grabbed that bag and chased her older sister around the house with it. so mental illness is genetic. anyway back to the mice and moles. well penelope was so put out about not catching mice inside that she went out and got one. brought it in with her when she came back. it didn't stop there though. she must have found a nest outside or something because the other cats started sneaking them in. little tiny mice. some were dead but a couple weren't!! well no big deal cause if there aren't any mice outside then they can't sneak in when it's cold out. lastnight the cats came in. my human was sewing and kept hearing a squeaking. the cats were in a group by the door. one moved and there was a large grayish thing flopping around on the floor. what the heck is that? rat? baby bunny? oh no, it was a mole!!! cute fat little thing but we can't have live moles in the house. the humans owner put it in a jar and tossed it outside. the dog got it. i think the cats were a little mad that their toy was taken away. my human had never seen a real mole except the ones eric and flynn catch and show on their blog. at least it wasn't a rat or a snake.
gerald the majestic goat

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Yummy Bunny

i wish i had pictures. my human ended up killing another one yesterday cause she decided one rabbit wouldn't feed everyone. she did much better at butchering that one. i figured out what is making her gag. it's the guts. they kind of stink. anyway the two buns were roasted with bacon on them. they came out tender and good. i didn't know they were white meat. pretty neat. even the legs were white. i understand why people pay so much for rabbit dinner now. so i guess that is the first and only success here at the hobby farm of death. for those of you who have tried wild rabbit and did not like it then you should try the home raised kind.
gerald the rabbit eating goat

Friday, August 22, 2008

Fierce Killer

it's official, my human is a fierce killer. she decided to butcher one of the rabbits. now she has never done this before but said she needed the practice. don't they make fake rabbits for this? guess not. so out she went with her tools of cutting. i watched from the window as i was afraid she might decide a goat would be a better practice animal. it was disgusting!!! she cut the head off and tossed the bloody thing to the dog. just picture a bloody rabbit head flying through the air. she doesn't have an axe so someone please send her an axe so it doesn't take so long to get the head off. oh don't worry the rabbit was already dead during this part. maybe a really sharp butcher knife would work. yeah send her one of those. so anyway the head is off and bunny is hung to bleed out. she came in and sat down during this part. i looked for signs that she was crazy but she seemed rather calm. maybe that's the craziness. i don't have a problem with her doing this, i'm just afraid she will move on to bigger things. anyway she went back out to finish the job. it took forever it seems for her to skin it. of course her sick little kids wanted to help. aren't little girls supposed to be squeamish? not these two. her 4yr old loved it. i think she is the one i need watch out for. anyway she got it skinned and next came the gutting. did i mention she has no idea what she is doing. well the kids wanted to know what everything was so she stood there going over the parts. i didn't know rabbits had so many guts! nasty. i saw my human step away at one point. i think she was going to puke. then she started cutting and pulling and then it was done. she sent in a kid to tell her owner she was coming in with the carcass so he would be warned. then she came in and washed it, tossed it in a pan of salt water and put it in the fridge. in the meantime the girls were running around outside with rabbit fur. at least they washed their hands. so i guess we're having roast rabbit for dinner tonight. maybe i shouldn't have watched. i wanted to take pics but my human said no cause she probably didn't cut the legs right and doesn't want the whole world to see it. she did seem to be on some sort of high and said she wondered if hunting was as great. a high from killing? i think i should be concerned. i heard her say she can't wait to do the next one and then a goat!!!! nooooooooooooo! can't she just stick with rabbits? well she will need a bigger setup than she has right now to be able to do a goat so i have some time. i suppose there is one good thing to come from all of this.........if the world ever goes to crap then at least i know the human can feed us. yep we'll be eating rabbit, duck, chicken, and goat while everyone else is starving! ya know people pay high prices to eat duck and rabbit at a restaurant and here i am eating it for free. well no duck yet but i heard them talking about one for christmas if the ducks lay eggs in time. so i guess living with poor people isn't so bad.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

We're Not Leaving

well it wasn't pretty, but i won! i convinced my human, using much violence, that we would be keeping the internet and phone. god gave me these horns and big hard hooves for a reason. my human has learned this reason and won't be giving me any trouble for some time. i don't usually choose violence but i was tired of her crap! the thought of being here without a connection to the outside world was too much for me and i snapped. don't worry though, she'll be fine. but really does anyone care about my human? no, it's all about me. the only time she even posts is when she is threatening me. i guess the point here is that i win!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Some Farm and Life Updates

i hate my human. after stressing how freakish those earless goats are someone offered her two, mom and daughter, for free!!! do you think she said no? of course not. she said "heck yeah, gerald hates those things, so i'm gonna take them, just to piss him off". i haven't left by the front door in days. the baby, aside from being a freak, has freaky blue eyes. i think i can open up a freak show now. i just don't understand why she has to be this way. i've said it before but i'll say it again, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EARS!!!!!

well lets see she brought home a baby goat too. i like him. he isn't to keep but he gets to stay for awhile. he is out of a doe that she wants really bad.

i think they are going to breed him to the psycho bitch goat cinabon when he is old enough. my humans owner hates that goat. i could write a book about all the stuff she has done to make him angry, very angry. i like her though. nothing makes my human growl more than that goat does. she sleeps on the van. wouldn't stay in the pen till the human decided to milk her now she jumps in for regular visits to her kid so he can drink all the milk. she unlatched a rabbit cage, got inside of the cage to eat the rabbit food, and then tore up the cage getting out. three rabbits got out from the big hole she made in it. oh let's see, what else has this wonderful goat done to tick off my human. oh yeah she pulled out the internet wiring and it took them a week to figure out how to put it back together. she bit my human on the top of the head. that was the best but not as good as when they were holding her so the baby goat could nurse and cinabon latched on to my humans arm and bit her four times in an attempt to get a larger chunk of flesh!! it didn't really hurt i guess but it was fun to watch. this goat would be burger by now if it weren't for the fact that it is my humans sons goat. oh and she is in milk which apparently if you can lactate around here you get a free meal ticket. i must figure out how to lactate. here she is standing on the van. doesn't she look evil.

when my human was getting fred banded (testicles get a rubber band around the base so they fall off, ewww) she got to bring home a goose for the 2yr old daughter. what kind of kid wants a goose? my humans freak kids of course. the 2 yr. old acted like she had been given a puppy. i don't like geese either. they hiss. yeah cats do too but they are cats. there is something wrong with a bird hissing. my human said she only hisses at me. figures. she is probably conspiring with the earless freaks. the goose is now hanging out with the ducks. i guess if you can lay an egg you also get a free meal ticket. i'm still trying to figure out how to lay eggs.

okay and now here are the rabbits. everyone loves rabbits. they are cute, fuzzy, and they taste great. most of the white ones in the picture are bucks so if they don't sell soon, like within the week, they are headed to freezer camp!! my human says it will be great butchering practice for her. i'm not going to watch but i plan to have my fork ready. my human has only ever opened up one rabbit and has only put two down so this should be interesting. she cried the first time she put one down. she says it's because it wasn't a rabbit for dinner but one of her favorites. the next one she put down was also one of her best breeders but cause she had done it before it wasn't as bad. hmmm i wonder if she starts killing rabbits without flinching if she will grow numb and start killing larger animals too. she has spoken of killing boy goats for meat that are born here if they can't sell them. i really need to start laying eggs, lactating, or get a sex change. she might get kill happy and kill me for the practice.

i think that is most of the news for now. i'm sure there is more. oh yeah the debit card number theft that has nearly ruined them. my human said we aren't even gonna have internet come end of the month. what? my only thread to life outside of this house? i told her to sell the animals but she said internet and phone are luxuries and eventually the animals will pay off. what? that is the biggest load of poo i have ever heard. i guess the goat pulling the cord proved that everyone could live without the internet. the phone hadn't worked for months anyway even though they pay the bill. my human wouldn't have anyone come out to fix it because she is a freak of nature and doesn't like to be around people. she says it upsets her life balance out here when people come out. my human is a nut job.

her goat ginger had been pregnant, human thought so, everyone else said she was just fat, and then the goat miscarried triplets while she was away getting bred. see, house of death!

the humans got new neighbors and they said the goats can use their fields to graze in. my human is ecstatic about this since when they asked the guy they bought the place from how much another acre would be he told them 10 grand!! my human kept her mouth shut for a change cause the old man doesn't like women but she nearly passed out when she heard him say it.

my human no longer likes the post office. she had to sell her incubator cause they needed money and the darn thing never arrived to it's destination. now the people think she scammed them and she doesn't have the money to refund them. she is never shipping anything again. some postal worker is probably sitting at home with the thing full of eggs. guess she should have gotten the insurance and a tracking number. lesson learned but she said she is still never shipping anything again.

so i guess that's everything. i'll try to cram in as much as i can before i have to go for awhile. hate to disappoint my fans. maybe if i start laying eggs or lactating i can sell tickets and raise some money. then i could get some fancy clothes. nothing better than a well dressed mountain goat. the ladies love it. really they do.

gerald the well dressed goat

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The War on Obesity is Just a War Against Freedom

l.a. is banning any more fast food restaurants from opening in their poor communities. only poor people eat fast food i guess. i've always believed the government would start their control of the people with the military and then the poor. i think this just proves it. now i personally think this is very scary. no one seemed to even protest it. why? well the poor are probably on assistance and to go against the hand that feeds could cut them off. that's how they get ya. poor people are stupid, if they weren't they wouldn't be poor, right? the goal of this seems to be to get the poor and stupid to go to the grocery store or a sit down slow food restaurant to get food. hmmmm last time i checked applebees serves some pretty high calorie stuff as does about every sit down and stay kind of place. if you want an unhealthy meal you can get it at wendy's just as you can at any fancy place. they want more grocery stores to have land available to come to that area so people can buy more mac and cheese. i'm sorry but aside from this being just plain controlling it won't work. what are they gonna do if these poor, stupid people learn how to cook? well then they will have to go into the stores and ban everything that is considered bad by the health kooks. or the poor will be given a special mark so the stores know they can only by tofu and not a cake mix. other cities think this is a great idea and are planning to implement the same thing in their poor communities. again, no one thinks this is a bad idea which just suggests how dangerous our government and its people are becoming. remember how public schools started telling parents what their kids could and couldn't bring for lunch? well someone should have stopped that but no one did. it isn't anyones business if someone wants to be a fat ass. sure it ain't pretty but better to have a bunch of fat asses running around than the government telling us what we can and can't eat, right? you would think so. now my human is poor and stupid based off of all the charts and such. they only eat fast food a few times a year cause they can't afford it. what was that? THEY CAN'T AFFORD IT!!! so maybe the middle and upper class should be the ones banned from fast food. there are plenty of fat rich people out there. i mean lets keep things equal. that's what this country is all about right? honestly even if my human could afford to eat out all the time she wouldn't because the kids would rebel and kill her. why? well they like homemade food better. if given the choice between froot loops or eggs, toast, and oatmeal the kids will always pick the eggs, toast, and oatmeal. so based off of this not all poor people are food giants that only eat bad fast food. in fact alot of poor people eat real food all the time because it is cheaper than eating out. so fat people, fight for your grease so that the rest of us can have it too!

gerald the poor healthy goat

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


my human is kid-sitting

sure they look cute and innocent don't they? see that little one in the front with those creepy blue eyes. well i am certain she is a terroist. i know, i know, she's just a little thing but she is pure evil!! it's true, i've seen her in action. now the big guy in the back isn't so bad except when the little girl is out and then it's like having ten toddlers in one room. they run, they jump, they eat magazines, they eat hair, and they chew on me too. i have got to take a vacation. it get's worse though. the kids need milk so my human said these two other goats could come over too. oh goody, more girls for me!! WRONG!! do you notice anything wrong with them?

THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EARS!!!! this is no accident folks. they are la manchas. my human didn't tell me they wouldn't have ears. when i went outside i started screaming and ran back in the house. i thought they'd been in some freak accident or some strange experiment. no, no, no. they are supposed to be that way!!! i must say i am afraid of them. my human said they are very nice and gentle but i'm not going near them. i can hardly look at them. in fact i'm not leaving the house until they are gone. this just isn't natural. even worse is my human is talking about maybe getting one next year. i told her, no way!! goats are supposed to have ears, the longer the better. i just can't understand why she would want those freaks living here.

gerald the eared goat


well the human has been waiting and waiting and it finally happened. her b-day egg hatched. cute little thing once it dried. maybe the incubator wasn't such a bad idea. she built a hatcher for them to go into to hatch and i must say, please, someone, teach her how to build stuff. the hatcher is scary. she uses duct tape like a man. i'm suprised she hasn't built a home out of the stuff. she has even taped my mouth shut with it before. it took me a month to grow my fur back!! well anyway here is the new addition to the chicken project.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Tidbits from Penelope

time for some serious issues.

obama is the next messiah. are you laughing? well you should be. my human heard that people are calling him the messiah. well we now have proof that some americans are truly insane and do indeed need all those anti-pyschotic drugs that everyone is pushing. please locate these believers and give them drugs.

"pay it forward" or your an ass! i sure am tired of all these public displays of kindness. i think we've mentioned this before but running through the streets and going on t.v. telling everyone how great you are because you pay it forward is not right. shhhhh. it's supposed to be a quiet thing, not a big deal. now you can get airtime on oprah for doing something for someone else. worse is that these people are trying to make everyone else feel bad if they aren't busting their ass for others. giving and doing for others is a personal thing. in most people it is already built in. we don't need the media telling us to do it or making us feeling bad if we aren't. sometimes just smiling at someone is giving back. oh and did i mention i don't care for the title "pay it forward". can't stand it! on a forum recently someone said it should be mandatory for people to watch some movie(i think) called "pay it forward"(cringe). mandatory? oh sure next we'll be fined for not paying it forward. there will be a "p.i.f." police who will track everyone to make sure they are giving back. if not you will have to go to a course on paying it forward. somehow i think this attention and pressure on people to do this takes away from the heart which is supposed to be the important part. next we'll have people going on talk shows for help because they can't say "no" to anyone. there will be marital problems because women(the usual culprit behind this crap) are neglecting their families more than ever. "i just didn't have time for them because i was saving the world" "i know johnny needs to go to the doctor for his cancer but mrs. jones needed her hedges trimmed and her poodle washed" "i know we need to eat but the people down the road need food too so we are just going to have to starve" it's foolishness and just plain dangerous. especially in the hands of oprah. stop telling us that we need to pay it forward. now i know there are stories in the bible about giving away the last of your oil and god providing for you because you helped people but i'm sure there are passages in the bible about being foolish. again though it's a heart thing however women are usually controlled by their hearts and without supervision they could really mess stuff up. "i'm addicted to giving" aren't i great!" "look at me, look at me, i'm so important!"

gas prices got you down? kill the earth day freaks.

the economy is going to hell and we're all going to die. "i can't get my morning breakfast at mcdonalds, things are sooooo bad" "prices are going up on everything and we will all starve if we can't get those frozen pizzas for dinner" learn to bloody cook you pathetic thing! better yet free range some chickens on your lawn and you'll have eggs and meat right in your yard. yeah i know, you can't kill animals. animals are people too. "i could never butcher anything" yes you can you just aren't hungry enough yet. people need to stop whining and crying to the politicians and help themselves. obama isn't going to feed you or save the economy. obama isn't going to bring gas prices down for you. oh sure they might but they want to take over the oil business so they can CONTROL it. no thanks, i'll take the high prices over communism anyday. people panic too easy. the worst thing people can do when the economy is bad is to go to your government wanting them to fix everything. oh sure they'll fix it but when it is all said and done, when you can get your morning breakfast at the drive thru, you will find that the government will tell you what you can eat for breakfast. so please people, just adjust.
penelope the cat who helps herself

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

She's At It Again!!

sometimes living in this house is hell. my human is always trying to find ways to save money. her newest adventure involved making laundry soap and dishwasher soap. great, right? no it's not great! i had to make it! she said i need to start pulling my weight around here and it wouldn't kill me to help her out with some stuff. apparently my handsome presence isn't enough for her! so here i am making laundry soap. the grating was hell cause she only had a tiny grater. someone please send this woman a large grater. although my hooves did get a much needed trimming my legs were very tired and she wouldn't let me stop!! next i had to put the grated soap and the powders in a pan and boil till they dissolved. it's hot in here, the last thing i want to do is be close to a boiling pot! i even heard her say if i didn't stop complaining she'd push me in!!! unbelievable! today i'm getting a bath in the stuff cause i'm dirty. i am also the test subject to see if the stuff works. gee, couldn't she use the clothes? what if the stuff eats my fur off? or worse my beautiful horns. hopefully i'll post after my bath, unless i'm dead.

oh and it didn't gel up right and she blamed me! i just followed the recipe. the dishwasher soap worked really well though so she was pleased with that. she has me researching how to fix the laundry soap and i have until noon to find a solution. i don't know what happens at noon if i don't have one but i imagine she'll have me do more work. i might need a vacation after this.

gerald the soap making goat

Monday, June 30, 2008

The Newest Additions

our human has acquired more animals over the past couple months. eric and flynn, i made sure to get some kitty pics on here. our human has also acquired alot of death around this place. after floppy she lost spiro her best buck, lilly the big white new zealand, solitaire the little white new zealand, alice the gray chinchilla mix, super buck, two kittens got stepped on and died, many chickens lost their lives, her black lab mix puppy died, all but 4 of the baby bunnies died and one new black rabbit. geesh is that everything? the rabbits died from snuffles like floppy did. she recently got some new rabbits from great stock so hopefully this round will go better. oh i forgot. fuzzball the white new zealand had one baby lastnight that died. oh dear there is more, two of the three new turkeys also died. amazingly the three ducks are still here and very large. the human also has an uncubator with eggs, lots of eggs, in it. hatches will be around the 17th of july. oh and if you have any animals that you want to "off" just let them live over here at the house of death! so here are all the new things

the eggs

the new chickens and turkey

the kittens

Starrynight the buck

father and son

New Rabbits all does


i think that's everything. there are two more large hens not pictured. one of them is black and quite stunning. our human got the hens for the eggs since they only have one hen left from the origional batch and she hasn't started laying yet. i also think it's pretty neat that goat boy is starrynights son. she should have left goat boy intact. starrynight will be used for breeding.

oh i forgot the other two new goats.

here is cinabon and her baby fred.

cinabon is an escape artist. jumps over everything.

lastly i'll add a picture of the ducks because we all love ducks!


making it one day at a time at the house of death

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Back With Lemon Pie Wisdom

our human finds wisdom in the strangest things. today she was making a lemon pie for her owner for his birthday. every year she says she'll make him one on his b-day and never has until this year. his mother always made him lemon pie on his b-day and this got my human thinking. has she really taken proper care of him all these years by not making him this pie that he has always had on this day. sure it's just a pie but perhaps it has more meaning than pie. his mother loved and cared for him and therefore made him what he wanted on his birthday. now sure that's a mothers love but shouldn't she also love and care for him the same way? well yes of course she should. having a son she thought about this more. when her son marries she wants his wife to take care of him and love him to no end. the pie is an extended expression of her love. it is an extra way of saying i love you so much i am going to continue this tradition for you. sure it's alot of work but in the long run and for years to come it is worth it. maybe people should treat their spouses the way they want their childrens spouses to treat them. maybe that goes beyond the "do unto others". afterall don't humans love their children more than themselves?

gerald the very sappy goat

who would just like to add that the husbands b-day was yesterday and she was a day late, haha

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Anniversary & Vacation

our humans' anniversary was saturday and they both forgot!! haha! our human thought that maybe he remembered and was waiting to see if she'd say anything, but not the case, he forgot too! oh, can you feel the love?!
my human informed me that we are on vacation. what? no one is going anywhere so i don't see the point. i think she's just too busy with the goats and such to pay attention to my needs. i plan to put a serious stop to this. penelope thinks it's a fine thing. well of course she does. what do cats do? they lay around. her life is a vacation. pampered with a bowl of food and water. i have to go out and find food. somehow i think this isn't right. the human should have to go out and pull food for me. there is grain but apparently since i'm not a girl in milk i don't get any. oh the injustice!!! i was going to find a new home but the human said i wouldn't be able to find a home with goats where bucks gets grain. maybe i'll have to start hanging with ginger during milking time. she gets a big bowl of food. i think i'm getting the short end of the stick here!
gerald the grain free goat

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Chickens on Goats

well since i'm a goat and they are goats i see no reason why there shouldn't be pictures of goats on here. they are more interesting than rabbits. plus you can't milk a rabbit! plus i think ginger is pretty cute! i'm not sure why the chickens are sitting on them though. even more confusing is why the goats are just standing there letting them.
gerald the majestic goat

Monday, May 5, 2008

Goodbye Floppy

one of our humans favorite rabbits, her french lop, floppy got sick saturday. our human did everything she could for her but by sunday evening she was so bad that the human decided to end her suffering. poor bunny. poor human. she is hoping none of the other rabbits get it but already two of floppy's babies have died from the same thing along with all of lilly's. sorry human we know it was tough. floppy was a fine girl.
penelope writing with geralds permission

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Return of the King!

oh goodness! what has happened to my beautiful blog?! bad kitty! my picture is gone, there are cute fluffy bunny pictures, and not a thing of importance has been mentioned. see what happens when you leave women in charge. vote hillary! hahaha only kidding.
anyway i know you wanted some gruesome surgery pictures but this isn't reality t.v. i will appear in pictures when my neck has healed. the important thing is that i'm back and order can return. penelope, i will thank you for at least keeping things running, and mentioning the animal i.d. thing but other than that i'm not sure how i feel about your work here. fluffy bunnies? i just don't know. it's good to be back though and that is what is important.
gerald the goat king

Friday, April 11, 2008

Before He Gets Back........

i thought i'd get some more foofy bunny pics in. here are lylahs babies just over a week old. aren't they cute. they are soooo soft. their eyes are starting to open. one of them is a chunky monkey. my human hopes it's a girl and good stock so she doesn't have to sell it or eat it. she's questioning the killing part. i told her to just find someone to kill them, slit their throats, and then hack off the head for her. after that it's just fur and meat, oh and guts. wow this is great conversation about these little furballs!! well here they are. sorry for the yuck!


Gerald's Coming Back!!

he is in the wash now. i can hear him screeming. she put it on hot. once he is dry my human is going to give him some extra guts and sew him shut. the dogs had got him, then got him again. his head was like a pez dispenser. haha if only he did give out pez. my human told him what i have been up to here. i heard carrying on about "freakin, fluffy rabbit pictures with cats?!!!" apparently, even when his head is falling off he can still run his mouth. i think his comeback blog is about his dislike for indians so this should be good. our popularity should plummet! i can't wait. i still plan to post cause without me we wouldn't have cute fluffy bunny pictures.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Lilly Had Babies Too!!!

boy was this a big surprise. she had seven during the morning. my human didn't even know she was pregnant cause she figured since she was for sale at age three they had retired her for a reason. the bad thing is that they were born in the community cage and looking closely some have knicks on them. they were pretty cold when she found them but are much warmer now. hopefully all of these make it.


Saturday, April 5, 2008

Then there were two

well two more baby bunnies died. she still has babies in her belly so maybe those will be okay if she ever has them.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Bunny Update

well one of the bunnies died. my human tried to save it but it wasn't having it. lylah still has babies in her belly. apparently she got pregnant at another session with spiro. everyone said the buck is supposed to fall over when he's done but he never did so my human thought they just weren't doing it right. WRONG she was!!! well hopefully no more babies die and lylah gets this over soon. my human looked a little stressed this morning. don't know why? this place is a nuthouse!! she should be used to it by now!


Thursday, April 3, 2008

Baby Bunnies!

oh it's very exciting here today. lylah had her babies!!! of course she escaped and had them under the couch. my human wasn't happy because under the couch is very scary. well incase you can't count there are five plump little babies. mom and babies have been returned to their cage and mom is still trying to escape. hopefully she figures out the babies are in there with her. oh dear gotta help catch the mom again. geesh! they kind of look like hairless rats.


Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Lylah is Getting Closer!

well lylah got her bigger mama cage. she is building her nest. they sure can carry alot of stuff in their little mouths. she was trying to build it in the goat crate but everytime the goat got put back the nest would get destroyed. after a couple days she seems to have accepted her fate that she will be building her nest in the nest box. she is due any day. you can see the babies moving around when she is laying on her side. we can't wait to see what they look like. i hope they like me as much as their mommy does.


Something Important! Say NO!! to NAIS

now look, i'm just a cat so i can't write everything out here. my human was telling me about the NAIS thing. it's a bad thing and just another way for government to control your animals too!! they can come on your property and destroy your animals and you can't do a dang thing about it. all this hype about our protection is bogus!!! sure it's just your livestock right now but soon even us cats are gonna have to get this id thingy and the dogs. if you have one rabbit they want to be able to track it. i don't think the government has any business knowing how many rabbits, cats, dogs, fish, or anything we country folk have! it will move into the neighborhoods too. the really bad thing is that now to be able to show your animals they have to have a number. so now, alot of those kids in 4H are now dropping out because they will not get this stupid id number. so just say no to this. write your congressmen and even the lower branches and tell them you don't want your state adopting this rubbish!!! here are just a couple places to go but there are several others. more than several. most people seem to be against this.

and one of my humans favorite places

get a good education from sources besides the usda. they are liars. this whole thing is ridiculous. it is voluntary but is already ruining alot of things. goodbye small farms, hobby farms, homesteading farms and alot of other good things. this will eventually become mandatory if we don't stand up for ourselves. ya know alot of other countries seem a little wacky cause when they get mad people rush into the streets protesting and catching stuff on fire but at least they are passionate. america needs to get rowled up about something and this is a good thing to get rowled up about. now please don't go catch your neighbors car on fire and hurt people. but there is nothing wrong with making yourself heard!!! if that doesn't work, then we can talk about acting crazy!!
fighting NAIS
and you should too

Friday, March 28, 2008

I Love Them!!!

she finally got them!! i asked for temptaions because eric and flynn siad i might like those. like them? no way, i LOVE them!!! these are the best things i've ever had. i couldn't stop eating them. mom let me gorge a little cause she was so happy to find a treat i like. she took them so i would have some for later. these are nothing like those nasty pounce play-doh textered globs of gross. crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside!! oh my goodness i am in treat heaven. she said i didn't have to share either!! we don't force sharing cause it should be a heart thing. i will share cause i want kira, pepper, tiger(we think he is a she), oswald, and mr. robinson to experience this magnificent snack. the best part is they have them in the nearest town. she goes there alot so i don't have to wait for her to go to "big town". plus she said they were only one dollar. they only have the chicken flavor though. she did say when she goes to big town she would pick me up another flavor so i don't get sick of them. she's so nice. plus then there will be plenty for all of us!! she didn't charge the camera so the pics aren't the best ones she could have taken. you'd think she would have been more prepared for such a joyous occasion. oh well i got them and that is all that matters! thanks eric and flynn!!

hmmmm, i wonder what this is?

yummy! pepper tried to get some but i was in the way.

oh these are so good. pepper decided to watch instead. you can see her feet.

it's blurred cause i bumped the bag with my nose to make more come out!

mmmmm......thanks mom, eric and flynn. these are the best!!

penelope the very satisfied cat

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

My Kitty Friends!

here are the kittens that had a rough start. the black and white one, oswald, had the deformed back legs. look at him now! he is doing great. his back legs do seem a tad bit longer than they should be and he might walk just a bit different but unless you know it, he seems normal. his brothers name is tiger. he tried to come out at the same time as oswald. oswalds tail was out and tigers feet were out. very confusing. they were pretty stuck. luckily they lived unlike the one that died. don't kill your kittens if their back legs are messed up!!

his eyes are still a little yucky but the vet rx is definitely helping

oswald was dipping his feet in the water dish. that's for the dogs so they must not have felt like climbing the gate.

oswald was getting ready to attack his brother

aren't his legs cute. he's really fuzzy and soft. i think he'll have longer hair then us regular cats!
oswald, tiger, and i sleep together when i'm not with the bunnies. i got to take them out to play the other day but they had to stay in the front.

Quack! Quack!

oh yummy! we have quacks. there are only two but they will make more if they are boy and girl. if not the eggs will be yummy. i want more so i am certain to get a duck dinner! they are white pekin ducks. the most popular meat duck in the u.s. being patient is so hard. the human promises the wait will be worth it. if i kill anything i get nothing!! i don't think that is fair. i am a cat afterall. i have needs and instincts. give me duck or die!!!