Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
gerald the hating goat
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
shut up and quit whining, it is not the governments fault you aren't prepared
everytime you empty a 2 liter bottle or other plastic container with a lid fill it with water and add a couple drops of bleach, replace lid and put away, it stays good for a long time
everytime you go to the store buy some extra canned stuff and put it away somewhere else
buy candles and hurricane lamps and put those away too
remember to depend on yourself as you are the only one that can take care of yourself and your family
shut up and quit whining
first aid stuff should be put up too
if you live where an ice storm could affect you then saving up scraps of wood and such in a pile might be good idea to build a fire outside with to cook or keep you warm
if you don't like that option candles placed under a frying pan that are elevated by those canned goods makes a fine stove, you can use this if you don't live in a cold area too, cooking can take a little longer or faster depending on the size candles you use, my human prefers smaller candles cause it is possible to burn things, if you are really creative then the possibilities are endless for what can be used to make a homemade stove
remember that there is no one to blame, except maybe yourself for living where you live, so don't start bitching about fema not coming to your door with presents
you will feel alot better about yourself if you do this all yourself, really you will
don't gorge yourself on all your stored food the first day, use what is in your fridge and freezer asap so you at least have some decent food the first day, it will definitely help your mood
flashlights are a nice touch for nighttime when you go to bed, there is nothing as dark as an entire city without power and the moon isn't out, it can be very overwhelming to not be able to see your hand in front of your face, if you really can't stand it then those floating candles are great cause a bowl of water is less likely to catch fire
baby wipes are good to have on hand for wiping your smelly body with, don't waste water if you don't have to, so get alot of them, fema will not be providing you with a hot bath
bathroom? yeah we haven't come up with much for that besides using a bag or digging a hole outside, keep your waste outside though
this is a good time to wish you had chickens and rabbits but if you don't then just know i will be enjoying meat while you are eating canned ravioli and tuna
don't wait to prepare for this mess a month before disaster season, it's best to start all of this now. next year or the year after you might need it and you will be glad the goat told you so.
oh i almost forgot, if you have small kids they will be bored and drive you nuts only adding to your stress and desire to blame the government. you can put them up for adoption or if you prepared you will have some stuff put away that they haven't ever played with before. magna doodles, coloring books (dover makes some cool ones), crayons, markers, games etc. will keep them occupied for a little while. johnny and susie will still drive you nuts because they can't watch t.v. and play nintendo so just spank them and tell them to shut up or you will put them up for adoption. times like these will also let you know just how spoiled and ungrateful your kids truly are and might be a good time to reevaluate your parenting. the less whining you do the better you will look to them. their attitude will reflect your attitude so if your attitude sucks and you blame the government then they will grow up the same way. nothing like a bunch of whiny adults and children in the same room so maybe you should have yourself rehomed to the asylum.
there are a ton of other things to add to this list but it isn't my responsibility. if you are too dumb to figure it all out then the asylum is the best place for you, not on t.v. crying and cussing about how the government failed you. the most important thing to remember is that IT IS NOT FEMAS FAULT you are too retarded to plan ahead.
gerald the prepared goat
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
when my human was getting fred banded (testicles get a rubber band around the base so they fall off, ewww) she got to bring home a goose for the 2yr old daughter. what kind of kid wants a goose? my humans freak kids of course. the 2 yr. old acted like she had been given a puppy. i don't like geese either. they hiss. yeah cats do too but they are cats. there is something wrong with a bird hissing. my human said she only hisses at me. figures. she is probably conspiring with the earless freaks. the goose is now hanging out with the ducks. i guess if you can lay an egg you also get a free meal ticket. i'm still trying to figure out how to lay eggs.
okay and now here are the rabbits. everyone loves rabbits. they are cute, fuzzy, and they taste great. most of the white ones in the picture are bucks so if they don't sell soon, like within the week, they are headed to freezer camp!! my human says it will be great butchering practice for her. i'm not going to watch but i plan to have my fork ready. my human has only ever opened up one rabbit and has only put two down so this should be interesting. she cried the first time she put one down. she says it's because it wasn't a rabbit for dinner but one of her favorites. the next one she put down was also one of her best breeders but cause she had done it before it wasn't as bad. hmmm i wonder if she starts killing rabbits without flinching if she will grow numb and start killing larger animals too. she has spoken of killing boy goats for meat that are born here if they can't sell them. i really need to start laying eggs, lactating, or get a sex change. she might get kill happy and kill me for the practice.
i think that is most of the news for now. i'm sure there is more. oh yeah the debit card number theft that has nearly ruined them. my human said we aren't even gonna have internet come end of the month. what? my only thread to life outside of this house? i told her to sell the animals but she said internet and phone are luxuries and eventually the animals will pay off. what? that is the biggest load of poo i have ever heard. i guess the goat pulling the cord proved that everyone could live without the internet. the phone hadn't worked for months anyway even though they pay the bill. my human wouldn't have anyone come out to fix it because she is a freak of nature and doesn't like to be around people. she says it upsets her life balance out here when people come out. my human is a nut job.
her goat ginger had been pregnant, human thought so, everyone else said she was just fat, and then the goat miscarried triplets while she was away getting bred. see, house of death!
the humans got new neighbors and they said the goats can use their fields to graze in. my human is ecstatic about this since when they asked the guy they bought the place from how much another acre would be he told them 10 grand!! my human kept her mouth shut for a change cause the old man doesn't like women but she nearly passed out when she heard him say it.
my human no longer likes the post office. she had to sell her incubator cause they needed money and the darn thing never arrived to it's destination. now the people think she scammed them and she doesn't have the money to refund them. she is never shipping anything again. some postal worker is probably sitting at home with the thing full of eggs. guess she should have gotten the insurance and a tracking number. lesson learned but she said she is still never shipping anything again.
so i guess that's everything. i'll try to cram in as much as i can before i have to go for awhile. hate to disappoint my fans. maybe if i start laying eggs or lactating i can sell tickets and raise some money. then i could get some fancy clothes. nothing better than a well dressed mountain goat. the ladies love it. really they do.
gerald the well dressed goat
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
sure they look cute and innocent don't they? see that little one in the front with those creepy blue eyes. well i am certain she is a terroist. i know, i know, she's just a little thing but she is pure evil!! it's true, i've seen her in action. now the big guy in the back isn't so bad except when the little girl is out and then it's like having ten toddlers in one room. they run, they jump, they eat magazines, they eat hair, and they chew on me too. i have got to take a vacation. it get's worse though. the kids need milk so my human said these two other goats could come over too. oh goody, more girls for me!! WRONG!! do you notice anything wrong with them?
THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EARS!!!! this is no accident folks. they are la manchas. my human didn't tell me they wouldn't have ears. when i went outside i started screaming and ran back in the house. i thought they'd been in some freak accident or some strange experiment. no, no, no. they are supposed to be that way!!! i must say i am afraid of them. my human said they are very nice and gentle but i'm not going near them. i can hardly look at them. in fact i'm not leaving the house until they are gone. this just isn't natural. even worse is my human is talking about maybe getting one next year. i told her, no way!! goats are supposed to have ears, the longer the better. i just can't understand why she would want those freaks living here.
gerald the eared goat
Monday, July 7, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
oh and it didn't gel up right and she blamed me! i just followed the recipe. the dishwasher soap worked really well though so she was pleased with that. she has me researching how to fix the laundry soap and i have until noon to find a solution. i don't know what happens at noon if i don't have one but i imagine she'll have me do more work. i might need a vacation after this.
gerald the soap making goat
Monday, June 30, 2008
the new chickens and turkey
father and son
New Rabbits all does
i think that's everything. there are two more large hens not pictured. one of them is black and quite stunning. our human got the hens for the eggs since they only have one hen left from the origional batch and she hasn't started laying yet. i also think it's pretty neat that goat boy is starrynights son. she should have left goat boy intact. starrynight will be used for breeding.
oh i forgot the other two new goats.
here is cinabon and her baby fred.
cinabon is an escape artist. jumps over everything.
lastly i'll add a picture of the ducks because we all love ducks!
making it one day at a time at the house of death
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
hmmmm, i wonder what this is?
yummy! pepper tried to get some but i was in the way.
oh these are so good. pepper decided to watch instead. you can see her feet.
it's blurred cause i bumped the bag with my nose to make more come out!
mmmmm......thanks mom, eric and flynn. these are the best!!
penelope the very satisfied cat
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
oswald was getting ready to attack his brother