Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Sad Goodbyes

well not this one. i am so glad that rosie is gone!! i don't have to take my blood pressure medicine anymore and my fur is growing back. i did watch the view from time to time and i think the best thing they could do is CANCEL it. cry, liberal feminist psychos, cry!!! well honestly lets skip the liberal thing. anyone promoting that show either wants socialism or communism. my guess is rosie never went to history class. well i did and i know for a fact when she says "AMERICA!!!!THE RICHEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD" she is mad that america exists at all the way it does. what rosie wants is socialism. to her i say MOVE!!! for all of us rosie, move! and take your wife with you and go live with all those terrorists and see how long you last. you say we're all equal right? well i don't think it's gonna work out for ya anywhere. oh wait you donate, right? and anyone else that has money should too right? well you socialist psycho *********************(if i don't say it no one can bitch) . lets say i lay around all day and never do a damn thing butyou work your arse off..........guess what? half of what you made is mine. i didn't do anything but i'm entitled right. in daycare i was forced to share so i'm entitiled to ANYTHING i want even though i've never done anything. hey rosie i need a car so i'm just gonna use yours. hey rosie i need food, well you have to share so give me yours. it's my turn to eat!!!! boo freakin hoo i'm gonna tell my mommy you won't SHARE!!!!!!

gerald is suddenly too pissed to continue

Sunday, May 27, 2007

aussiejourno's weekly blog awards

we're 31 this week!!! woohoo!!!!!!! now we just have to kill someone and then i bet we see number thirty!!!!


From the human

gerald, i know you took the photo of my UNFINISHED painting!!!! how do i know? well your white fur was on my couch and your hooves scratched up my camera. oh and you should have disabled the flash!! not to mention the missing pringles and my missing chocolates. oh and your fur was on the window you opened and crawled through. so maybe you shoud be signing off as gerald the busted goat!!!


To Rooster Boy

uh you seem a bit high strung, hot headed, and maybe over sensitive about cock fighting. we are for cock fighting so i don't think we were being insensitive. you know what? i am not going to justify anything to a crazy rooster from the south. we appreciate you being here.


Saturday, May 26, 2007

From The Desk of Col. Angus

Honestly, son, don't you think it's a little insensitive to bring up an issue like cock fighting on Memorial Day weekend? Think of all the brave cocks and hens that are bravely serving....uh, I mean being served in Iraq and Afghanistan this very second. Don't think that we foul don't know about sacrifice...why, every morning a hen has to loose one of her young to an insurgent's omelet! Yes, sir, we cocks know a thing or two about combat, and I, as a retired officer, take umbrage at your trivialization of such a noble cock tradition. We are proudly known in South Carolina as "The Fighting Cocks," and I don't give a cluck about anyone who says we can't. We can, sir, and will, as long as this country is free and my name is Col. Angus! Gerald and Penelope, thank y'all so much for lettin' me put my two cents for that commie-lovin' moose, well...he ruffles my feathers. BuGOCK!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Questions for guest speaker

i was just wondering, rooster boy, what is your stance on cock fighting? since it is a TRADITION that dates back several centuries we think it should be legalized EVERYWHERE!!! cock fighting is entertaining and the loser could be given to the poor for dinner. it's a win/win situation! cocks die, people eat! now i know rooster is not normally eaten, however, if you are hungry you will eat rooster!! yummo!!

gerald the rooster eating goat


Guest Speakers

we thought it might be fun to let other important animals have a say here. colonel angus will be our guest for as long as we can tolerate him.


oh that is the humans unfinished painting that i had no part in photographing. whoever did it is going to be in a world of hurt.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Montel & Bald Eagle Omelets

let me say first i have a dislike for this man. sure he tries to do nice things but he believes in sylvia browns psychic mumbo jumbo gumbo. yes i said gumbo. i got a bit carried away with the "umbo". ok back on topic. montel right? ok, yesterday his show was about teen girls dumping their fresh born babies. now, excluding moosey, we animals are pro life, all the way, no exceptions. with that said i don't see why people freak out when these girls do this. in a country that treats abortion like a sport, you know, "real women get abortions ", why does anyone care if the wee babe ended up in the neighbors trash? had she aborted it we would have high fived. woohoo! abortion rules! now the girl that stabbed her baby 135 times was obviously sick but whats the difference between frying baby with saline in the womb and walking away from the trash? huh? huh? it's right up there with getting charged with a double murder cause the lady you kill is prego. since abortion is legal then her child doesn't technically exist, right? RIGHT!!! however if i want a bald eagle omelet for breakfast i will be jailed for killing a baby bird. but it was still in the egg man, it was yolk. i don't know if the bald eagle is even still protected nor do i care. the point i'm having obvious trouble making is there seems to be alot of double standards or something. i know, i know once the fetus is released outside of the womb it magically turns into a baby before your very eyes! then it is a crime to do magic baby harm. sounds like some more gumbo to me. i can't get the bald eagle omelet out of my head. add a little ham and cheese......yum. hmmmmm i think there is some sort of bald eagle paradise here in okiehoma. just two eggs, i promise.

gerald the bald eagle omelet eating goat

Sunday, May 20, 2007

We're getting better!!!!

we were #32 instead of #37 on the aussiejourno weekly blog awards!!!!!

Dear Moosey

this is to inform you that if you apologize you will no longer be welcome here. in the contract you signed it states clearly that we are animals that do not apologize, even if you were using a controlled substance, or in your case several!!! you see that pan of meat? that's your brain on drugs moosey. if you mess up that will be all of you on the humans stove! got it? good.


Thursday, May 17, 2007


dear human,

happy anniversary to the human!!!! we made up a song for you but we won't share it!! just know we wish you two lovebirds well!!

gerald, penelope, and the loser rehab moose BUT NO ONE in your family groups...NO ONE said it but us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please don't eat moosey

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Confirmation of dognapping

well folks, it's true. the kittens really did dognap the gang leaders son. the uproar in the surrounding communities has already begun. the kittens are keeping the pup in a secret bunker somewhere. no word as to whether or not they will negotiate with the gang leader. in fact there is just no word from either side right now. more to come.....

gerald reporting

Breaking News- Moosey found!!!!

say it isn't so moosey! apparently moosey has been riding the downward spiral to sleezeville. this photo was taken in mooseys' home three days ago. after verbally slandering the elk community he has entered rehab and is expected to give a public apology to elks everywhere. boy moosey you really mucked up!

gerald the disgusted goat

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


it has come to our attention that penelopes remaining two kittens have dognapped the mexican canine gang leaders' son. we should have photo confirmation by days end. penelope has decided that since she has 4-5 kittens a year she really can't be too sad and will stay on here. she does remain disgusted and can't get the images out of her wee brain. more at five.

gerald the news goat

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Going Green (aka going crazy)

Go green! i'm so tired of hearing about going green. i'm starting the "go brown" crusade. don't get me wrong, i don't think littering is good or dumping hazardous waste in ponds should be a sport. i do think the "go green" agenda is all about money. all the stuff they want you to change would cost a fortune for the normal animal to implement. sure watering your lawn with gray water sounds neat but you can't do it if you use oh i don't know, tide, joy, dial, downy etc. nooooo you have to buy the expensive stuff that won't hurt the grass. i watched an hour of green on pbs over the weekend and when i got done hearing about thanking mother earth i felt the need to take a very long hot shower, wash a load of whites on hot with lots of bleach, and kick mother earth in the arse! hey i'd love solar panels, not to save the earth, but to cut down on my bills. but quite honestly i just don't have the green to invest. i don't have central h/a so i guess i'm helping a cat or something somewhere. oh wait i negate that by running forty fans and a very, very old window a/c in the summer. did you hear that? i think i just heard a tree hugging, mother earth fanatic start to cry. maybe i can be charged with crimes against nature. i can be called an enviromental terrorist. maybe even rosie will talk about me on the view!

gerald the mother earth hating goat

Monday, May 7, 2007

Tragedy in Animal Land

the remains of two of penelopes children were found early monday morning under some bushes. another kitten is missing and presumed dead. while we have no suspects, investigators are looking into a mexican canine gang a block over from penelopes home. penelope will be resigning from the blog for a spell, maybe forever. she will give her statement later. this has started a racial war between mexican canines and gray felines in surrounding areas. only time will tell what chaos will rain down on our once quiet, secure neighborhoods.

gerald the news goat