It's Not a Sand Box, It's a Corn Box!

sure they're having fun, but they forgot me. she promised i could go. she forgot the stroller too so i hope she had to carry the baby the whole time. anyway this corn box was at a pumpkin patch in kansas. it seemed to be everyones favorite thing to do.

gerald the forgotten goat

Masculinity is Bad For You!

according to a time magazine article about stay-at-home dads (aka- i don't want to work), aaron rochlen, an associate professor at the university of texas, says "masculinity is bad for you." good news for men everywhere, right? now all you she-men can get out your pretty dress up clothes, watch the little mermaid, and dream about your man-princess. CREEPY!!!! now don't get me wrong here, i think fathers are a very important figure in a childs life. i don't think dad needs to stop being the bread winner. yeah i know women, "i'm a nothing without my precious career" but men need to wear the pants. it reminds me of a sliders episode. you know the one, hillary is president and the women run everything. i'd tell you the season and episode number but i'm too busy to look. anyway i can't see anything wrong with me killing dinner, drinking strong manly beer, and reminding my wife of her place from time to time. i am MAN after all. we aren't equal; just watch the olympics, and man care can never replace the mom care, unless of course mommy's a crack whore. when men start having the babies maybe we'll talk. masculinity bad...what a bunch of crap!

gerald the manly goat

she-man wants to know if he looks fat in that dress

Wal-Mart Employee Pisses Off Our Human

it happened at the checkout. the cashier was sort of friendly at first, which around here can be a miracle. then she turned evil, very evil. the cashier asked humans young daughter what school she went to. daughter said happily "i'm homeschooled". cashier replied, now listen closely, "don't you want to go to school with other kids?". WHAT THE ****!!!!!!!!!! human bit tongue so hard it nearly bled. i started jumping around in cart screaming "hit her, yell at her, tell her to mind her damn business!!! let me at her. i'll straighten her out! let's box evil lady!" my human gave me the look so i shut up but i wasn't happy. my human explained to me that sometimes it's better to just be quiet. of course the cashier got the look too but i still would have said something.

gerald the angry goat

Fields Full of Meat!!!!!!!!!!

it's a dream come true! everyday when i look outside i see meat! it gets even better if you leave. fields of meat line the dirt roads!!! i'm in meat heaven! i will be getting a gallon of steak sauce. ribeye, anyone? i can smell them cooking! beautiful, yummy cow.

gerald the drooling goat

Three Modems Later........

i think we are back. no time to chat yet. after some water torture our human should remember all the important passwords to the world so we can take over again. we'll have pictures of all our new country friends. the best thing of all is the fields are full of meat.

gerald the meat eating goat