since my human has gone awol, i thought i would share with all of you some of my daily activities.
normally i don't mind him on the occassional commercial but then the human brought him home to live here. lord, someone help me!!! poppin' fresh thought it might be nice if we made breakfast. all that "hee-hee" was about to drive me nuts, so i did what any goat would do. i shut him up!! now look, i tried to have a conversation with this guy. "hey doughman, got any kids?" doughman says, "hee-hee". he continued to say "hee-hee" to every bloody question i asked him! i had to make it stop!! someone, PLEASE, make it stop!!!! so i jumped him, held the knife to his throat, and told him if he didn't shut his dough-hole i'd shut it for him!! his response, HEE-FREAKIN-HEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaagggggghhhhhh!!!
so along comes that peace lovin', tree huggin', hippy bonehead, antonio. i know, i know, iknow. i didn't think it could get any worse either. antonio says, "hey, dude, make love, not war. nothing is worth all this fighting except maybe saving the earth." well i didn't waste anytime shutting his fur-hole either. then there was this big brawl in the kitchen. somehow "doughbutt" ended up head first in the grease and lost an eye. boy was the human mad! it wasn't my fault. what do you expect when you bring home some loony from the flea market!! he's nuts i tell ya. had he just kept his mouth shut none of it would have happened!
gerald the majestic goat
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