Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Easter Ain't All Sheepy

for the time being the human has focused her attention on a different animal. i hate to say this but her mystery illness was actually a blessing, for me anyway. the humans knees and hips have been hurting her bad for the last week. apparently she is having trouble with the stairs so she decided to get a cane to help her out. she looked at hel-mart but didn't care for the metal clanky things. then she remembered seeing wooden canes at the farm store.
this is where things get real good(this is how i heard her tell her owner). so she drove over there with about ten minutes to spare before they close. as she was approaching the doors she sees a little sign that reads, "we have bunnies". the automatic doors slide open and the a great magnetic force pulls her straight in, down the aisle towards the bunny troughs. the whole time she was being pulled she was thinking, "i am so dead". why would bunnies in troughs make her dead? lets keep reading to find out. once at the troughs the human squeals in excitement at all the bunny colors and cuteness. her heart begins to race and she starts to sex them in search of a buck. i know that sounds really creepy but i assure you it isn't. so anyway, at no point did she ever stop and think "i want a rabbit". she just found a buck and tossed it in a box like a brainwashed robot. now that is creepy. she then grabbed a cane, paid, and left. it wasn't until she got in the van and started it that she said "oh dear me, what have i done?". actually she used some more colorful words but i like to make her sound sweet sometimes.
so now she has a box with a bunny in it and a cane. one of these things just doesn't belong. she starts to panic as she is driving back to hel-mart to finish her shopping. her thoughts went like this, "what am i going to do with this bunny?", "'owner' is gonna kill me", "i don't have a cage for him", "i am so dead", "calm down, you can explain this to him", her thoughts went on until she finally created a story for the owner so he wouldn't be too mad. she called the owner on her phone from hel-mart and asked about food, then slowly and quietly, told him the story of how she came to have a rabbit in her van. he wasn't happy but he wasn't gonna kill her. with that out of the way she got a small water bottle for him and decided he could live in the box till she constructed something better. apparently she told the owner that he would be a fine buck(yeah in like 4-6 mos.) for the three does they have and that he should be lop so they can carry that gene on in the babies. oh that poor fool. do to him trying to be as uninvolved in the animals as possible, she gets stuff by him all the time. bottom line is, she wanted the bunny cause they are cute. even as adults the human thinks they are cute. she only got a buck because she knew that was the only way to get off easy. i can just hear her, "well honey, he can breed with them and that will start off a new herd for us". i shouldn't be too hard on her i guess. the rabbits, perseus, and snowy are the only animals she has with her till the court mess is over and they get a new home. the owner said baby boy bunny said his name is mark. the owner says the animals tell him their names. weird man. so this is mark. yep, mark the bunny.

gerald the "i'm so glad it ain't a sheep" goat

6 comments:

Cat said...

Oh, Gerald, you poor thing. Haven't you figured out that the bunnies use cuteness to get into the place, and... then take over by means of just being lots and lots and lots and lots and...

(You get the idea. Be afraid, be very afraid!)

Cat

Animals with Opinions said...

ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Eric and Flynn said...

Careful Gerald. Bunnies breed like, well, like rabbits. You could get over run by them. They are a more manageable size though and it is better than being over run by sheep.Maybe you could form a bunny army to defeat the sheep?

Animals with Opinions said...

hmmm that is a good idea!

Claire said...

OMG, that is the cutest little bunny ever. It needs a cuter name. I have some angora bunnies and I spin their fur. Your human will be overrun with bunnies if she puts that hot little studmuffin with the does. Sheep have far fewer babies and at much longer intervals. I'd go with sheep. My bunnies are all neutered...

Animals with Opinions said...

well you needn't worry cause she is
"the house of death" and has been very unsuccessful with rabbits.