Saturday, February 16, 2008

PBS Kids- PROGRAMMING Your Children

want to raise a bunch of little rosie's, bono's, gore's, clinton's etc. then just set your little brat in front of the tube with pbs kids and you'll have it in no time. i couldn't decide which shows were the worst. after careful examination and interviewing the humans children i have chosen three; caillou (we call it kayak), it's a big, big world (it's a big gay world), and super why (super what the hell). now as far as big gay world goes, there are no spirits in the trees, any child that believes that should be shot on spot along with their parents for letting them believe it. this show is a big promoter of earth day, hug the spirit in the tree, save a tree day blah blah blah. be nice to trees. okay i'll be nice. chainsaw ready. oh look i have preserved the tree forever in the form of a shelter for my family!! thank you mighty spirit!!! haha

okay now for caillou. first off this show is great if you want to raise a bunch of whiny sissys. the kid needs his ass beat!!! the narrator always says, "caillou was very disappointed". his parents cater to this little brat, oh, and he's bald. the kid is 4 and he has no hair!!!! i never see him go to chemo treatments so where's his freakin hair!!! all the kid does is whine, whine, whine. the humans son wants to rewrite the show in ways that caillou gets blown up and such!! hahaha i think it's a fine idea.

super why is terrible in it's own sick way. they take stories we all know, boy who cried wolf, little red riding hood etc. and make them nice. the boy doesn't get eaten by the wolf, it's his friend. i think little red riding hood shares her cookies with the wolf. it goes on and on warping perfectly fine tragic endings. there is no lesson involved except sharing. oh and they teach kids how to talk to their parents. these little super heroes rush to the rescue to ruin the story. as i said, super what the hell.

i feel sorry for the children that aren't making fun of this crap. below i have changed the lyrics to caillou to tell the truth about the little brat.

i'm just a kid whose four

i want to be al gore

i like exploring

i'm kayak

so many men to woo

each day it's someone new

i'll share them with you

i'm kayak

my world is turning

changing each day

with mommy and daddy

i'm finding i'm gay

growing up is not so tough

i dress like hillary duff

i like to wear pink stuff

i'm kayak

there that's so much better
gerald the pbs kids hating goat


Anonymous said...

You go goat!!!!

Yang said...

And why exactly are you so familiar with these shows? Surely a goat of your sophistication has better things to do - create chaos for the human or something??? Scratching cats eyelids, perhaps?

Animals with Opinions said...

yes well we had that meeting so i thought i would add something more serious, well as best i can anyway. so as part of research i watched a day of pbs brats!

gerald the educated goat